I’ll be honest with you all, it’s actually quite the necessity to find a real friend in the opposite gender.
Back in High School I had a friend group of about 30 people. Nine of which were girls. Guy friends had always been such a major part of my life and when I got to college and immediately made friends with four amazing girls, it was weird and an abnormality in my life.
In a just one week I had made over half the amount of female friends I had made in 12 years of public school back at home. While I love them all to death, I really do believe that it’s vital to have a close friend in the opposite gender.
Opposite gender friends can be an insightful perspective to have in your life. It can also be sort of confusing going through the process especially if you aren't sure if you've actually found a true friend. Here are the signs that the one you've found, is the real thing.
1.They are always there for you.
This one is rather obvious and hopefully is true for all of your friends. Step one is realizing you could absolutely hit them up no matter the day or time and they would answer you if they were physically capable of doing so.
2.They’re someone you can study with.
Personally, this is immensely important to me because my work carries such a heavy presence in my life. The real friend knows when to go out and when to buckle down. Honestly, mine keeps me in check when I get distracted or want to quit working.
3. They’re someone you can go out with.
Likewise, it’d be an amazingly fun time to be out with them at all hours of the night.
4. You’re comfortable talking to them about anything.
They should be someone who knows you inside and out. Maybe you’re slow at sharing things or opening up and that’s fine. In my case, we’re still learning each other. Nonetheless, the reason I’m so comfortable with my friend is that I know I could bring up anything about myself and he’d treat it real and with respect.
5. They care about your well-being— sometimes more than you do yourself
The amount of times I’ve stated that it’s fine and he’s responded with “Alright, but talk it out with me anyways” is countless. I don’t want to make this one sound cheesy but when they genuinely care, it’s honestly such a life saver. In my case, I’m not one to “talk about my feelings” and he knows that. He also knows sometimes it just helps to talk. About anything really. And it does and I could not be more appreciative.
6.They will call you out on your s***.
Basically. I’m always right and he likes to disagree with me on that.
7. Major key: They aren’t constantly trying to get in your pants.
College creates this sort of stigma that if you spend any lengthened amount of time with the opposite gender you start getting asked those questions. The “are you guys like…” questions. Why is this so important? You should be able to talk to your best friend about anything without worry of hurting their feelings. This includes getting occasional relationship advice from them.
8. They respect you
Respect is huge in any kind of relationship; friends or family. Them respecting you goes a long way. It not only lends the foundation for a kick-a** relationship. It also low-key builds your personal self-esteem and acts as a sort of reminder when you forget or get down on yourself. Which absolutely happens to even the best of us. Don’t forget though that this respect thing goes two ways. In my case, I will be the first to tell anyone who asks that he is the hardest working kid I’ve ever met and more real with himself than anyone I’ve ever met and I honestly could not have more respect for a person than I do for him.
In short, if you haven’t already— find one. I'm not entirely sure what I’d do without mine.
