Which of these annoying friends are you really? Because, let’s get real, we’re each at least one.
To my homies out there, this one’s for you: Y’all are #exposed.
The funny:
Now this one, we all know. That one friend who used to be funny, who used to run the jokes in town, who used to crack a smile on your emotionless face. You became friends with them because, hey, who doesn’t love a bit of humor? Now you see the real joke. It’s them. And the only thing you hate more than listening to one of their banal jokes is remembering how you used to laugh at them.
The clueless:
So clueless, so cute. Kidding, this one is really just f**cking annoying. If she doesn’t understand something the 42nd time, she probably won’t the 239th time either. Maybe, instead of spending her life preoccupied with which boy gives her attention she could work on controlling that “OMG! What?” laugh and un-ditsy-fying her touchy self.
The selfie:
“OMG! Let's take a selfie.” I’m talking about that friend. That friend who documents her life on Snapchat as if anyone actually gives two shits. That friend who pretends she’s above it all and yet whips out that iPhone when there’s nothing remotely interesting. That friend who, most of all, judges everyone else for the same self-obsessed selfie-ing that she is guilty of. Yes, friend. I’m looking at you.
The cop-chased:
You know who this is. Reckless. Paired with misfortune. Sticks to bad habits (*cough* boys *cough*). Usually gets yelled at by at least three people per day, including her boss. Especially terrible at learning from mistakes since she generally repeats shitty decisions. Afraid to sleep. Pile all of this together, and you have the typical case of cop bait. Whether it’s atrocious driving abilities or possession of illegal “munchies,” she will get caught. Not much else to say.
The delusional:
Usually paired with the cop-chased. They’re generally both impaired with emotional issues though the delusional one is especially bad at communicating any sort of feeling or thought. If she’s scared to do something, she will do it. Not because she wants to prove anything, but because she enjoys thinking she is more than she is. That she is partaking in something risky, breaking the rules, crying out “to hell with the world,” when she really just wants to own it as it is. Her only real knack is manipulating people and not caring to the point of extreme bitchy-ness.
The mother:
There is a very fine line between the mother and the bitch. And I don’t mean that sorority girl, white girl wasted type of bitch. I’m talking...dogs? It’s not necessarily a bad thing. The moms are loyal to the point that they’ll stick with their middle school boy-toy into college. But of course, like every mother, they like to gossip and hold those irritating, for-no-reason grudges that makes you want to swing a metal bat at them. Props to them for always being the pragmatic ones though.
The irrelevant:
Not sure what to say. Either no one knows what this one does or no one cares.
The fake lovable:
With deceptive smiles, this attention-seeker tries too hard to be the people favorite. Shout out to the plastic bitch whose real talent is feigning to be that no-bad-boned sweetheart. Caution: You will lick chocolate frosting off a cake only to find that the inside is actually vanilla.
