Effects Of Social Media On Relationships

Effects Of Social Media On Relationships

What you see is not always what you get.
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"But why did he like her selfie on Instagram?"

I am sure we have heard something, at least, a little like this before from our friends. Your pal is scrolling through her Instagram and sees that her significant other liked another girls’ selfie, and she is not too happy about it. I begin to wonder when exactly did this third party became such a huge part of our personal relationships? Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and so on have not only become a vital part of our day-to-day lives, but also a part of our friendships, and intimate relationships. How exactly is this affecting us? What would our world be like without social media as a factor?

There are many positives in negatives with the use of social media. I see that it gives us the ability to connect with each other from far away with things like Skype, Snapchat, FaceTime and more. On the other hand, I see the way it puts pressure on our relationships to be perfect, increases unfaithfulness and increases jealousy. With things like “relationship goals," “friendship goals” and “family goals,” there is a sense of failure if your relationships aren’t “picture perfect."

I am no expert so most of what I am going to address is personal opinion and observation.

First, I want to talk about jealousy. It is part of every type of relationship and to a certain extent, is normal. But now, there seems to be an influx of what we get jealous of. Who she has on her Snapchat best friends, who is the girl that tweeted your boyfriend, who commented on her Instagram picture, and so on. This creates such a strain on relationships that they usually are more likely to fail. Without the use of social media, I believe that relationships would focus less on jealousy and more on caring for the other individual. Social media has no doubt increased the likely hood of jealousy occurring in a relationship, and to me, that can be very harmful.

Secondly, I have noticed that it can have the tendency to increase unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness can be seen as anything from physically cheating on someone to flirting with someone excessively over text. I have seen it before, one of the individuals was unfaithful to a certain extent, because there was an inappropriate conversation over Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, etc., and the other person finds out one way or another, and it’s considered cheating. What I would like to address is how easy it is to do this without the other partner finding out. Which is why I think it increases the temptation to be emotionally unfaithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Without social media, I doubt there would be as many situations where the boyfriend or girlfriend is lying about who they talk to or who they have feelings for.

There is also a lack of privacy when it comes to relationships now. It seems that everyone knows when a couple is having issues because one or both of the individuals tweets something about the other. This invites everyone to be part of our private relationships. I think this can cause complication in the relationship because it can bring up a certain pressure from outside influences. So if we keep our private relationships well, private, then a lot of outside sources won't be affecting how you handle your situations.

Social media has the ability to make relationships both easier and more difficult. It can connect us when we are far away, or it can hinder our ability to focus on what truly matters in the relationship. Bottom line, don’t let a third party ruin your relationship. If it is causing problems try limiting your use of social media when it comes to your relationship. Keep your problems private, and don’t tweet about them, it will just lead to more issues. Focus on who the person is not how you can show them off on Twitter. Let’s not allow social media to affect our relationships in a negative way, just be authentic with your significant other and everything you see on twitter and Instagram won’t matter so much anymore.

Like the famous Bible quote says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres."

Cover Image Credit: whizsky.com

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If You've Ever Been Called Overly-Emotional Or Too Sensitive, This Is For You

Despite what they have told you, it's a gift.
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Emotional: a word used often nowadays to insult someone for their sensitivity towards a multitude of things.

If you cry happy tears, you're emotional. If you express (even if it's in a healthy way) that something is bothering you, you're sensitive. If your hormones are in a funk and you just happen to be sad one day, you're emotional AND sensitive.

Let me tell you something that goes against everything people have probably ever told you. Being emotional and being sensitive are very, very good things. It's a gift. Your ability to empathize, sympathize, and sensitize yourself to your own situation and to others' situations is a true gift that many people don't possess, therefore many people do not understand.

Never let someone's negativity toward this gift of yours get you down. We are all guilty of bashing something that is unfamiliar to us: something that is different. But take pride in knowing God granted this special gift to you because He believes you will use it to make a difference someday, somehow.

This gift of yours was meant to be utilized. It would not be a part of you if you were not meant to use it. Because of this gift, you will change someone's life someday. You might be the only person that takes a little extra time to listen to someone's struggle when the rest of the world turns their backs.

In a world where a six-figure income is a significant determinant in the career someone pursues, you might be one of the few who decides to donate your time for no income at all. You might be the first friend someone thinks to call when they get good news, simply because they know you will be happy for them. You might be an incredible mother who takes too much time to nurture and raise beautiful children who will one day change the world.

To feel everything with every single part of your being is a truly wonderful thing. You love harder. You smile bigger. You feel more. What a beautiful thing! Could you imagine being the opposite of these things? Insensitive and emotionless?? Both are unhealthy, both aren't nearly as satisfying, and neither will get you anywhere worth going in life.

Imagine how much richer your life is because you love other's so hard. It might mean more heartache, but the reward is always worth the risk. Imagine how much richer your life is because you are overly appreciative of the beauty a simple sunset brings. Imagine how much richer your life is because you can be moved to tears by the lessons of someone else's story.

Embrace every part of who you are and be just that 100%. There will be people who criticize you for the size of your heart. Feel sorry for them. There are people who are dishonest. There are people who are manipulative. There are people who are downright malicious. And the one thing people say to put you down is "you feel too much." Hmm...

Sounds like more of a compliment to me. Just sayin'.

Cover Image Credit: We Heart It

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How Incorporating Organization In My Daily Routine Single-Handedly Changed My Life

And how it can structure yours.

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It would be a complete fabrication of the truth if I pretended that my life in any way has been picture perfect. Things are messy, life is messy, and my life becomes an endless cycle of self provoked destruction.

I've had short bursts of motivation as a last expedient to seize control of the downward spiral I have endured. But mostly they have diminished along with any motivation I have left.

None of these short term solutions have yet to salvage my mental, physical, and academic state. SO, as an attempt to overhaul my life, I decided the best way to strive for control, is to organize every aspect of my life.

Yes, this could become unhealthy if I used this tactic as a way to tear myself down or over analyze my accomplishments, or lack thereof. But I try to view my life as something I have a say in while considering that not everything will be perfect or completely satisfy my goals for myself.

To successfully enact this measure, I try to never go into a day unaware of what I must accomplish, what tasks/work I have to attend to, and stocked with a full calendar and set of alarms that prevent me from missing deadlines. Although mildly time-consuming to detail my life in advance, it is greatly beneficially outweighed through the amount of time this tactic saves me.

Recently, I have noticed how much happier I have been, and feel as if my life is back on track and it's future in my hands. This has allowed me to work an upwards of 50 something hours a week, see and manage friends, read and keep up with hobbies, as well as give me peace of mind and time to relax with loved ones.

I am grateful for the role that organization has played in my life and suggest that everyone incorporate some type of underlying structure in their lives, to realize that anything is achievable with proper organizational preparation.


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