"But why did he like her selfie on Instagram?"

I am sure we have heard something, at least, a little like this before from our friends. Your pal is scrolling through her Instagram and sees that her significant other liked another girls’ selfie, and she is not too happy about it. I begin to wonder when exactly did this third party became such a huge part of our personal relationships? Twitter, Facebook, Snapchat, Instagram, and so on have not only become a vital part of our day-to-day lives, but also a part of our friendships, and intimate relationships. How exactly is this affecting us? What would our world be like without social media as a factor?

There are many positives in negatives with the use of social media. I see that it gives us the ability to connect with each other from far away with things like Skype, Snapchat, FaceTime and more. On the other hand, I see the way it puts pressure on our relationships to be perfect, increases unfaithfulness and increases jealousy. With things like “relationship goals," “friendship goals” and “family goals,” there is a sense of failure if your relationships aren’t “picture perfect."

I am no expert so most of what I am going to address is personal opinion and observation.

First, I want to talk about jealousy. It is part of every type of relationship and to a certain extent, is normal. But now, there seems to be an influx of what we get jealous of. Who she has on her Snapchat best friends, who is the girl that tweeted your boyfriend, who commented on her Instagram picture, and so on. This creates such a strain on relationships that they usually are more likely to fail. Without the use of social media, I believe that relationships would focus less on jealousy and more on caring for the other individual. Social media has no doubt increased the likely hood of jealousy occurring in a relationship, and to me, that can be very harmful.

Secondly, I have noticed that it can have the tendency to increase unfaithfulness. Unfaithfulness can be seen as anything from physically cheating on someone to flirting with someone excessively over text. I have seen it before, one of the individuals was unfaithful to a certain extent, because there was an inappropriate conversation over Twitter, Snapchat, Facebook, etc., and the other person finds out one way or another, and it’s considered cheating. What I would like to address is how easy it is to do this without the other partner finding out. Which is why I think it increases the temptation to be emotionally unfaithful to your boyfriend or girlfriend. Without social media, I doubt there would be as many situations where the boyfriend or girlfriend is lying about who they talk to or who they have feelings for.

There is also a lack of privacy when it comes to relationships now. It seems that everyone knows when a couple is having issues because one or both of the individuals tweets something about the other. This invites everyone to be part of our private relationships. I think this can cause complication in the relationship because it can bring up a certain pressure from outside influences. So if we keep our private relationships well, private, then a lot of outside sources won't be affecting how you handle your situations.

Social media has the ability to make relationships both easier and more difficult. It can connect us when we are far away, or it can hinder our ability to focus on what truly matters in the relationship. Bottom line, don’t let a third party ruin your relationship. If it is causing problems try limiting your use of social media when it comes to your relationship. Keep your problems private, and don’t tweet about them, it will just lead to more issues. Focus on who the person is not how you can show them off on Twitter. Let’s not allow social media to affect our relationships in a negative way, just be authentic with your significant other and everything you see on twitter and Instagram won’t matter so much anymore.

Like the famous Bible quote says, "Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. Love does not delight in evil but rejoices with the truth. It always protects, always trusts always hopes, always perseveres."