As someone who has struggled with an eating disorder for four years, I have had my fair share of family gatherings, especially around the holidays.
Despite the fact that I've been in remission for the last two years, Thanksgiving always brings back some very stressful memories. So, to those of you who will be celebrating this upcoming holiday with someone who is currently struggling, here are some things we want you to know:
If we don't put a lot of food on our plate, please don't ask us why.
Or encourage us to eat more (or less!)
Please don't say you wish you had as much self control as us.
Believe me, if I could, I would be eating that whole bowl of mashed potatoes.
Sometimes, we need a go-to person to talk to about our feelings during the day.
This person was always my mom. Even though she didn't understand, it felt good to get my thoughts out in the open instead of just bottled up in my head.
We also may just need an out, a way to get away from everything.
We may just want to be alone for a few minutes, so please respect that.
Please don't talk about your latest diet at the dinner table.
Or say how "bad" you are for eating mashed potatoes (you're eating mashed potatoes, not burning down an orphanage, for goodness sake)!
Don't tell us how proud you are of us for eating turkey or mac n cheese.
That's honestly the last thing we want to hear.
Please don't talk about how you're going to work everything off tomorrow.
To this day, this phrase is still one of my BIGGEST pet peeves.
If we are quieter than normal, please try to distract us with something fun.
Odds are, we are analyzing everything that has happened since we entered the dining room. So, help us get our minds off the disorder.
We are doing the best we can.
Please be patient with us.
So, with all that said, I am so excited about this upcoming holiday because I have (finally!) gotten to the point in my recovery process where I can enjoy this holiday season and all the yummy foods it has to offer.
If you or someone you know is struggling with an eating disorder, please reach out! It will be scary and it will be hard, but it will be 100% worth it.
National Eating Disorder Association (NEDA) Hotline: (800)-931-2237