All girls have had a sort of "knight-in-shining-armor" type of fantasy. Someone to protect them and to keep them from harm. But has anyone ever really thought why girls think that way? Even when they're older, most girls desire and search for their Prince Charming even if they know it isn't realistic. Why do we constantly have to rely on a man’s protection? Why is it that we yearn for someone who must always be able to fit that standard? I know that I would love it if a man were protective over me, but I have never thought about why I wanted that so much. Is it because we were conditioned to think this way from the beginning?
If you heard someone say this, "We need to stop degrading women because they are beautifully fragile creatures," what would you think? I have talked to several girls about how they felt about that statement and most of them said that it wasn’t exactly a bad statement, but something about it didn't sit right with them. According to Professor Eliason of the Biola University Psychology Department, benevolent sexism helps to justify male dominance and traditional gender roles in a gentler manner through statements of protective patronizing beliefs that usually undermine a woman's ability and paint them as the “weaker” sex.
Simply put, it's a gentler, kinder way of telling women they are more suited for traditional domestic roles. This doesn't sit well for the modern woman. Nowadays when people hear "benevolent" sexist remarks, they don’t really think too much about them. There are still many negative side effects of benevolent sexism. It usually leads to women feeling as if they're slightly more incompetent and encourages them to remember previous moments of incompetency.
For example, more girls are inclined to remember when they felt as if they weren't doing enough in a test and felt their self-worth decrease. This kind of thinking also leads to low self-esteem and low levels of positive self-regard due to the heightened need of body surveillance. All of this is attributed to benevolent sexism.
They explained that benevolent sexism is a way of insulting not only females, but both sexes. This has negative effects on both genders, which is something we shouldn't forget. While most people seem to be unconsciously sexist, there is a new “seduction” technique known as “negging” that uses benevolent sexism in a more blatant way.
What on earth is negging? I didn’t even hear about this until I was looking at different blogs and websites to research this. I was shocked because I have encountered this "technique" more than once. The term negging apparently has been around since the early '90s when author and pick-up master/guru, Neil Strauss published a book called The Game. This book explained all of Strauss’ pick-up techniques and there was the first mention of the term “negging.”
Negging is basically a strategy that men (or women) use to gain the attention of someone they perceive is out of their league. Negging is the method of undermining a person’s confidence by giving snide and backhanded compliments, often to initiate conversation. Remarks like, “You look amazing. Have you had anything done?" or for men, "Do you work out?” They can be more oblique, “Nice eyes—even though one is a little bigger than the other,” or even, “You are such a nice girl, too nice for me."
Have any of you heard any remarks like this? There are entire Reddit boards like Billy’s Guide to Neg Hits that explain and help people understand and use negging to get girls.
Interestingly, most women seem to respond well to this technique. Myself included at one point or another. However, now that I know what negging is, I find it to be an extremely cowardly and loathsome way to starting conversation. Negging was created from benevolent sexism and society today seems to be promoting it. It is strange to think about where the responsibility lies. Is it the men who condescend to women or the women who seek this out in men? Probably both. Women aren't fragile creatures and it's up to us to defy that image.
