Last weekend, my campus was graced by a visit from the part time rapper and brilliant astrophysicist, B.o.B. (Or, as he likes to be known formally, R.o.B.E.R.T.)

While here, he of course lectured us on his award-winning and highly controversial theory that the Earth is, in fact, flat.

To those of you who are new to hearing this theory, that fact may come off as shocking. But B.o.B. has done extensive research into the topic, like looking out of an airplane window and not noticing a curve on the horizon. How do you explain that, huh?

The theory of the flat Earth actually has a long tradition throughout history. The Ancient Greeks believed in it, and what have they ever gotten wrong, really?

I know that I spend my days sacrificing goats to Poseidon in order to ensure safe voyage. It's irresponsible not to, really. You know who believed the Earth was round? Christopher Columbus.

We all agree that he was pretty shitty nowadays, right? Honestly, who wants to be a lame globalist, when you can join all of us cool discists?

Now, maybe you're asking yourself "What is the point? Why would the government, the academics, and the lizard-people lie to us about this?" and I have but one response: money.

Do you know how much it costs to buy a map? Like five buck. Twenty if it's a really nice one. Globes cost so much more to buy. I'm telling you guys, think about it.

The puzzle pieces all start clicking together when you look at it that way.

Now, you non-believers may decide that we are crazy. You'll call us uneducated, contrarians, and whatnot. You will try to knock us down, but guess what? We'll get back up and the world will keep on spinning.

...Wait! That's not what I meant!