Not too long ago I changed my hair color from the platinum blonde that it has been for seven years. I chose to dye it grey.
This is a trend that is popular and growing on the internet, labeled "granny hair," but following the trend wasn't my inspiration for change. I wanted something drastic and different and out of line. I searched for weeks and almost gave up on even changing it, but as I scrolled Pinterest for what I swore was the last time I spotted a shade of grey that grabbed my attention and was quite flattering on the model who had the same skin type and eye color that I did.
I sent it to my hairdresser (who is also a close friend) and asked her what she thought. Little did I know that sending that text would send her and the whole rest of the salon into fits trying to come to the best conclusion. I booked my appointment for two days later and after a couple of hours in the chair, I went from platinum blonde to grey! Here's a before and after:
I noticed that so many things about my life changed after going grey. All of my clothes looked different. When I was a blonde, blue always washed me out and made me look pale. Sometimes I looked unhealthy. I feel like I look healthier now and I'm so happy that blue doesn't look terrible on me now!
This new change was an experiment of sorts also, and it inspired me to play around with my makeup more. I found that I was able to pull off darker shades much better than I could with blonde hair, which led to a Colourpop shopping spree...
After leaving the salon, I went home so I didn't encounter anyone else that day. Then next time I went out in public, I went to Walmart. I'm not surprised to say that it turned into a bit of a social experiment, but what did surprise me were the results of my hour of grocery shopping at Walmart. I felt remarkably objectified. People were literally walking around me and talking to one another about me like I was a statue that wasn't capable of hearing them. Things like, "That b**** must be crazy," and "Mommy she doesn't look old enough to have grey hair." But there were also older women who stopped me and told me that they thought it was a beautiful color and that they could only hope that they would grey to this shade as they aged. Men, both black and white, seemed to only stare while black women seemed to speak loudly 'behind my back' once they had gawked and passed me by.
I have absolutely no issue with being gawked at, but what truly gets under my skin is that anyone on this planet thinks they have any right to judge another human being based on their looks. Above that is that they have the gall to open their mouths and speak the words that they're thinking. I'm lucky enough to have the strength to look past negative people that would bring me down and keep my confidence and self-esteem high. Insults and snide remarks merely irritate me but do nothing to diminish my confidence or my view of myself.
But it makes me so concerned and angry to think that these remarks if said to someone else who had changed their appearance who may also be having the worst time of their life, could have heard these negative remarks and chosen to end their life.
Did you hear me?
End their life.
Because someone opened their mouth and spoke some kind of judgment that was not theirs to cast.
The next time you open your mouth with the intent of speaking some kind of genuine cruelty, please stop and actually consider if you would want someone to say it to you about your hair or your clothes or your teeth or makeup choice.
Because once you say something, you can't backspace or erase what you said or the damage it does. It's there and it's very seldom forgotten by the person who heard it.
Sticks and stones can break your bones but words can do a lot of damage too.
Try to remember that.
