Hey best friend,
You have had one hell of a year, but unfortunately not in a positive way. If I had to describe it, I would use a series of expletives so foul-mouthed that my ancestors would roll over in their graves and rise from the dead solely to tell me to never use that series of words again.
So, I just want to let you know how I feel. This letter will not consist of the cheesy "Winnie the Pooh" quote: " You're braver than you believe, and stronger than you seem, and smarter than you think" or anything of the sort. However, I do understand the need for inspirational quotes, so please look here to find a variety of quotes from successful people who are mostly deceased.
First and foremost, please note that when one aspect of your life falls apart, a fecal tempest will emerge and seem to wreck everything else in your life. Although you may feel as though you canoe upstream without a paddle while your canoe simultaneously leaks, it will get better. Almost miraculously, duct tape will float down the creek, enabling you to fix your canoe. Every problem you previously struggled with will disappear, and you will survive this Charlie Foxtrot.
In the meantime, I will aid you however I can to maybe make your life slightly happier or at least funnier. Therefore, I promise to...
1. I promise to hold your hair back when drowning away your troubles directly leads to toilet.
2. I promise to let you embarrass me at any given moment without getting too mad because I know it makes you laugh.
3. I promise to watch idiotic YouTube videos till the wee hours of the morning even though I have class at 8 a.m.
4. I promise to fake laugh (occasionally) at your jokes because we both know I am the funnier one in this friendship.
5. I promise to respect your decisions and only advise you when you request my advice (Note: my advice has been described as "pure gold" and "the best advice I have ever heard," so you should probably ask for my advice more frequently.)
6. I promise to force you to hug me even though you hate physical contact.
7. I promise to you send you hilarious Valentine's Day cards (even after Valentine's Day) and go on dates with you regardless of my relationship status.
8. I promise to listen to sad songs like "Over My Head," "Mad World," "Breathe Me" and "Fix You" when you cannot cry, but just want to bask in your sadness. When you finally cry, I will buy tissues for you because no college kid seems to own tissues these days.
9. I promise to road trip with you so you physically can escape from your problems.
10. I promise to go into your closet without asking and borrow your clothes so that when you finally want to wear that "one shirt" and think you are going crazy because you "just saw it", I sneakily will replace it. Everyone needs to understand they are crazy sometimes.
11. I promise to resurface all of the pictures from your awkward stage on Facebook. If you could survive acne, braces, excessive makeup, glasses and bangs relatively unscathed, I guarantee you will survive any traumatic experience.
Keep crushin' it. I will be here, no matter what.
