Drunk Eating is Ruining My Life

Drunk Eating Is Ruining My Life, But Also Saving It At The Same Time— What's A Girl To Do?

To drunk eat or to not drunk eat?

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I have struggled with this decision time and time again.

Let me paint the picture for you.

It's ladies night. You finish all your assignments due at midnight at 3 pm, which is a rare occurrence, so you reward yourself with a fun night out with the girls. You decide to drink some wine while getting ready and blasting Ariana's new hit, because why not? It's ladies night! After you have spent about an hour and a half deciding what skirt to pair with your roommate's new bodysuit that she is graciously letting you borrow, everyone is finally ready.

You call the uber and split it with everyone.

You get to the bars in record time and push your way to the front of the bar to order everyone vodka Red Bulls because now you are a little tired from your wine pregame. Everyone downs them in about 10 minutes, so you all get another round. After all, it's ladies night! After about three vodka Red Bulls, you decide to switch to vodka sodas, before ultimately switching to beer for the rest of the night, because you don't want to get as crazy as you did last ladies night.

News flash: 30 minutes later and you are that crazy again.

How did this happen? You can almost feel the crippling hangover you will have tomorrow. You decide it's better if you stop to get food before you get home because food always lessens the blow of hangovers. Everyone got Taco Bell last ladies night, so you agree on pizza for tonight. After inhaling two giant slices of cheese and pepperoni in the uber, you climb up the stairs to your apartment, slap a makeup wipe on your face and pass the f*ck out.

Surprise! You still feel like a truck hit you in the morning. Why does this happen?

The pizza was supposed to soak up all the alcohol in your stomach and magically make you less hungover in the morning. Right? That's what I thought at least. But, as a senior in college forced to look at all the bad decisions I have made over the last four years, I'm starting to realize that drunk eating does nothing good for me. Food or not, the next morning (or the whole day, if your hangovers last 24 hours like me) still feels like shit. But, if you did have food, your bank account is a little bit skinnier, while your waist grows. Breakouts, bloating and stomach issues are also side effects of the dangerous drunk eating spree. The next morning is filled with regret of your fourth meal, wondering why you thought that quesadilla tasted better than sex when you were eating it mere hours before.

It's a vicious cycle! And college bars don't make it any easier.

They put all of the open-late fast food places within walking distance of the bars, so you don't even have to drive! How convenient! No matter how much I say I don't want to spend money nor calories on drunk food, somehow my inebriated self convinces my brain otherwise. Who knows? Maybe it does make me feel less horrible in the morning? Yet, time after time, I wake up regretting everything and hating myself for such a setback. I mean, we have to start preparing for spring break now! I wish I could give some advice to all of you for how to combat this treacherous trend, but honestly, I have no idea.

If you have any tips or tricks, I am listening.

Plus, my apartment building is on top of a CVS, so I'm pretty much doomed.

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This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
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