The Crier.
Ah, the classic crier. The crier is a common alter ego that can without a doubt be found throughout the sorority community. This gal can 100% be found shedding tears by the end of the night whether it was over a boy or her pet fish that died in third grade.
The Alarmingly Touchy Feely
Identified as a somewhat common alter ego, the touchy feely guy or girl becomes overly affectionate to everyone, even the creepy middle-aged guy across the bar. Guaranteed when this person is 3 shots deep, they'll forget what personal space is. Their favorite things include hugs, petting hair and most last but not least repeatedly saying “I loooooove youuuuuu." After a couple hours you wish that you brought that spare straight jacket with you.
The Big Spender
Psh, what's a college budget? The possibilities are endless with an open tab. One round of shots becomes twelve rounds of shots, and by the end of the night you've almost bought every person in the bar a drink. When you wake up the next morning with a three hundred tab from Lion, that is the sad moment you realize you can only afford a lavish lifestyle of easy mac and frozen pizzas.
The Madonna
After a couple of drinks, this person has supernaturally transformed into the next Beyoncé, heading toward a bright hypothetical future full of fame and superstardom. Look out for their headlining debut on the Red Lion Stage.
The Explorer
When's a better time than three in the morning when you're heavily intoxicated to explore campus? These people tend to either run away or subconsciously drift toward the weirdest places on campus. You can see this rare breed usually waking up in the wee hours of the morning in obscure engineering buildings or somewhere unknown in downtown Urbana.
The Kanye
The mean drunk exhibits extremely hostile behavior towards everyone, no matter how nice they are sober. They tend to have no filter and abandon all social cues when it comes to common human decency. This person will cuss you out just for standing there. Beware: No one is off limits when shots are fired.
The Bathroom Bff
For some reason, girls LOVE making friends in the bathroom, especially when drunk. The Bathroom Bff is someone who is personable, even if it does take eight drinks to get there. They will share their lipstick, compliment your outfit, and the rest is history… An epic friendship has been born. (Even though you'll probably forget it in the morning.)
Sloppy Suzie
This person needs to get their shit together ASAP. They flail, fall, puke, spill and wreak havoc wherever they are. They desperately need a warning label to let surrounding people know they should stay at least ten feet away to avoid danger. Sloppy Suzie can be described as a tornado that will destroy anything in its path.
The Foodie
As the night comes to an end and closing time arrives, this person has one thing on their mind: FOOD. It doesn't matter if its negative five degrees outside or if they have a dollar to their name, their internal compass for food will always prevail. This person will be consuming Wingin' Out cheese fries or the standard Mickey D's by the end of the night. Friends will drag them home with great force because they will literally run to Green Street when given the opportunity to escape.
