Being single is something we all experience, but of course some more than others. For me, I gave myself the title of "chronically single" a long time ago. I went to all homecomings, proms, and formals with my friends, never a date, and up until very recently, had never been on an actual date either. Being single is like having a constant, nagging voice in the back of your mind. And it sounds like your random great aunt at family gatherings. "Have you found someone yet?" Like, no, auntie. I'm obviously forever alone.
However, the most important thing to pursue while single is not the cutest guys at the bars or a better bumble profile. The most important thing to pursue when you hate being single isn't a relationship. It's your dreams. Here's why:
You can control your future, you can't control another person.
To try and rely on any one person for happiness other than yourself, if you really think about it, it's an awful idea. While having good relationships is a huge part of a healthy life, we have to base all of those relationships on first a good relationship with ourselves. This means taking responsibility for your own feelings, which is a huge milestone to achieve when single. Although not everything in our futures is in our own control, we can have a lot of influence over the path we take. Doing the best we can to make that path enjoyable for ourselves, instead of relying on others to do so is very important!
Your dreams, and ultimately your purpose, will make you happier than any one relationship will.
GiphyWe can fill our need for healthy relationships without a significant other, and with a lot of healthy friendships instead! But greater than any particular relationship is fulfilling your own purpose. Your goals are ultimately what will keep you going through better or worse.
Your future S.O. thinks your dreams are hot.
It can be really hard to believe sometimes, but it's easier to imagine when you think about what you want in a partner. You, of course, want someone you're attracted to, but think about meeting someone who also really has their stuff together and is accomplishing a lot of awesome things? It's even hotter. Go after what you want, and be unapologetic about it. The right person will want to do the same thing alongside you. Accomplished people are attracted to accomplished people.
When you actually start dating a person who is attracted to your accomplishments, you'll also have way more to talk about. There's nothing wrong with relationships centered around partying or having a good time, but also being able to talk about deep things that involve actual substance in topics your interested in? Ground-breaking. Get you a man who can do both. The more experience and knowledge you have about your passion will make you that much more interesting to talk to as well. Having your own life filled with things that you love, or at least having the pursuit thereof also makes you less likely to be tempted to be clingy or overbearing with a partner and makes taking rejection easier when it happens. Win win win.
Ultimately, you want to be with someone who can be a positive force in your life to encourage you to go after the things you want. It's kind of the point of a relationship! Go after what you want in life, trust your gut and don't settle when you feel like things are off. You deserve only the best, and when you stand up for that, life has a way of working itself out.
