Drama: You Don't Scare Me

Drama: You Don't Scare Me

I won't let drama affect me, and neither should you.

We all hate drama.

Just the very word causes me to cringe. Drama is inevitable for most people, especially in college, where we spend most of our time together: in class, in the student center, library or common rooms.

But this article is not about why people do what they do, because chances are such reasons don't exist. When dealing with drama and petty gossip, we spend our time seething with anger and sadness when we should be focused on getting out of our hiding spots, running right into what scares us most.

Because here's the truth about people: they don't want to see you succeed.

They want to see that their harassment and hurtful actions are working and affecting you. They want to see that you hide in your room in fear, they want to see that when you do leave, you're an emotional wreck with nobody by your side. And maybe that's how you'll cope with the drama. We all cope in different ways and possess different personalities.

But getting back out there, walking with a group of your new friends, having a fun time without their actions or words affecting you — that's strength. So when you get knocked off your feet, and you feel defeated or feel like giving up, get back up. Not because you necessarily want to, not because we have someone helping us up (even though that's definitely a good thing to have). You get up because you owe it to yourself to not let anybody have such an impact on you. You get up because you have to force yourself to deal with the people head-on, showing them with each step that you're succeeding in life.

Yes, drama is debilitating, any negative intentions against us can destroy us, but it doesn't define us, what defines us is how we deal with it.

Cover Image Credit: Pexels

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4 Reasons Why Dads Threatening Their Daughters' Boyfriends Aren't Funny

No guns, threats, or creepy infringement on their privacy necessary.

This week, former NFL player Jay Feely caught Twitter's attention by posting a picture with his daughter and her prom date and a handgun.

While the comedic undertones of the photo are obvious, Twitter had a lot to say about the picture and most people weren't happy.

He has since issued a statement of clarification after the tweet went viral, acknowledging that gun safety is an important issue and clarifying that he was in fact joking. Unfortunately, though, the damage had already been done.

Feely is far from the only dad who's ever made this joke. It's a largely prevalent theme specifically among gun owners and in country music. Check out the song "Cleaning This Gun" for another example. It's catchy, I have to admit, I just listened to it again voluntarily the other day even though I don't agree with the central message.

But what's really the matter with this picture? After all, it's just dads being dads, right? Wrong. The political, historical, and gender-specific rhetoric behind the idea of dads protecting their daughters by threatening their boyfriends have all combined to create a lot of things wrong with this picture. Here are 4 of them.

1. Gun violence is no laughing matter

This theme has come up over and over and over again this year but it's one that continues to be relevant and timely. Gun violence is a very real issue, with thousands of deaths, dozens of mass shootings, and deep political biases, making it far from a joke. While there is a major difference between the handgun in Feely's picture and the assault weapons that have been at the center of recent mass shootings, threatening to shoot someone, particularly an unarmed teenager, is just poor humor.

2. Parents do not get a say in their daughters' sexual choices

From chastity rallies at churches to purity balls entrusting their sexual purity to their dads to presenting "virginity certificates" to dads at weddings (hint, you can't medically prove someone's a virgin), parents' obsession with their daughters' sexual behaviors, not their sons', mind you, just their daughters, is creepy, intrusive, and disgusting.

Decisions about whether or not to engage in sexual activity, at any point from high school to marriage and on to the rest of their lives, is up to the two people involved, not the parents, the church, the government, or any outside parties. By reinforcing the idea that the parent is in control of these decisions that their kids are supposed to make for themselves, parents like these are perpetuating archaic ideals, destroying the trust their children have in them, and setting them up for destructive sexual behavior down the line.

3. There is an extremely obvious (and dangerous) sexual double standard between boys and girls

While young women are told to guard their purity and that engaging in sexual activity makes them less worthwhile people, boys are encouraged to use sexual conquests to assert their dominance and their behaviors are not focused on nearly as much by parents, religious organizations, or sexual education programs.

If women are taught to remain virginal until marriage and homosexuality is frowned down upon, who exactly are these boys supposed to be having sexual conquests with? Beats me.

4. Sexual repression and rape culture go hand-in-hand

These parents criticize their daughters for participating in safe, monogamous sexual relationships but do not give the same attention and threats to people that threaten their wellbeing. By teaching your daughter that she can't trust you, you're setting her up for trouble down the line.

While this entire situation could be passed off as a harmless joke that got a little out of hand, it's obvious that the problems run deep and can have a lasting effect, especially on the girl at the center of the "joke." Bottom line, trust your kids. Believe that they have the self-respect and the critical thinking skills to make healthy relationship decisions and support them in making them. No guns, threats, or creepy infringement on their privacy necessary.

Cover Image Credit: Jay Feely: Twitter

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Trust Is Something To Value

Don't stop trusting in others because you stopped trusting in yourself.

I grew up learning many valuable lessons, but as I have gotten older the word trust has been something I have instilled in all my values and beliefs. It's a short word, but it encompasses a whole lot of meanings. We trust people every day without even realizing it. Trust is important.

Today, I trusted the guy at Starbucks to make my order just right. I trusted a website to use my credit card information to make a purchase. I trusted my car to get me to the closest gas station. I trusted my coat to keep me warm on my cold morning walk to class. I trusted my pencil to not break during my exam.

Without knowing it, trust guided my daily actions.

Who are we without trust?

When you only trust yourself, life becomes a burden. We all at some time find trust in people because people can make good out of bad matters. If my car never made it to the closest gas station, I would have trusted someone to help me. If my pencil broke during my exam, I would have trusted someone to let me borrow theirs.

It's easy to trust people we come across rarely, but as people, we find it a challenge to put a continuous trust on the people close to us in our lives. We fear that by putting too much trust in someone, they will only hurt us.

Life is about trust and mistrust. It's trial and error finding what works and what doesn't. Find people you trust by giving them the opportunity to be trustworthy and if they let you down know that there are always more people out there who are worthy.

Don't stop trusting in others because you stopped trusting in yourself.

Cover Image Credit: Taylor Caponigro

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