10 Moments Everyone Experiences Their First Time Tubing
Start writing a post
Entertainment

10 Moments Everyone Experiences Their First Time Tubing

"This is a donut of misery."

2970
10 Moments Everyone Experiences Their First Time Tubing
Google Images

As we transition into the hot, heart-of-the-summer days of July and August, many humans of all shapes, sizes, and shades of sun-tanned skin will flock to their local body of water. Moms will fling down their towels and roast for a week, while dads will crank up the grill and roast for a week. Kids will try their hardest to get on their parents’ nerves, and parents will get their revenge by forcing their kids to go tubing.

You see, nothing says summer fun quite like being dragged along in an inflatable donut of misery (or joy, if you’re not a wimp like me). This past weekend, I watched my five-year-old nephew endure his first tubing escapade. He gritted his teeth and squeezed his eyes and did his best to not look like a lady, even while Aerosmith screamed “Dude Looks Like a Lady” over the radio. As I watched his face transform from sheer terror to fervent glee, I was filled with the nostalgia of my first tubing experience. Whether you are five or 20 or too old for this crap, here are nine stages you might experience the first time you go tubing


1. Getting on the tube


[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020078631051758-1534030505_panda%2520struggle.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=360&h=5cb11937ba61c225a48f91880154b98f90c909238913538d08ccee69b7004973&size=980x&c=2586440218 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020078631051758-1534030505_panda%252520struggle.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D360%26h%3D5cb11937ba61c225a48f91880154b98f90c909238913538d08ccee69b7004973%26size%3D980x%26c%3D2586440218%22%7D" expand=1]Yes, your life vest might be squeezing the life out of you, but slight suffocation is the key to not drowning. Trying to propel your body out of the water and on to the tube while stuck in a straightjacket of buoyancy is not as easy as it doesn't sound. It could take a few tries, but once you kick and claw your way to the handholds, you breathe a sigh of relief and think to yourself, “OK, this isn't that bad.” If you hear a mysterious voice from laughing at you from deep beneath the water, don’t worry, that’s probably just your imagination.

2. The Tug of No Return

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F6360200820407681571486755566_dogpullsgirl.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=594&h=38830f09e9ca5d08298e4647575375d120406f1177c96fef8b826999656b764e&size=980x&c=308318467 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F6360200820407681571486755566_dogpullsgirl.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D594%26h%3D38830f09e9ca5d08298e4647575375d120406f1177c96fef8b826999656b764e%26size%3D980x%26c%3D308318467%22%7D" expand=1]The tug of no return is what I call that first yank when the rope connecting tube and boat becomes taut. If it doesn't dislocate any of the bones in your arms, then congratulations, the worst is yet to come. Also: whiplash? You mean free chiropractors appointment.

3. Water, water everywhere and all the drops to drink

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020111412567338586952371_dog%2520hose.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=592&h=36abda8e28b547f68de0c97d10b0e4d89b7a8369eb316a5e48ee60e8939b5f94&size=980x&c=776051973 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020111412567338586952371_dog%252520hose.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D592%26h%3D36abda8e28b547f68de0c97d10b0e4d89b7a8369eb316a5e48ee60e8939b5f94%26size%3D980x%26c%3D776051973%22%7D" expand=1]

As the boat begins to pick up speed, you will notice one thing. That thing is water. You will notice the water because it is everywhere. Obviously there is water under the tube and under the boat and floating in a vapor form in the atmosphere, but there are also large drops of water that will attack all of your exposed face flesh with the fury of a thousand angry boyband fans.

Pro tip: If it’s on your face and you can close it, do so.

4. Absolute Panic

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020112825013528-809278621_panic.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=894&h=9f4cb010e2f6fd99f341202659c48b297a9a0a4e04d80549b9b99c1679a7d85f&size=980x&c=1537891147 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020112825013528-809278621_panic.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D894%26h%3D9f4cb010e2f6fd99f341202659c48b297a9a0a4e04d80549b9b99c1679a7d85f%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1537891147%22%7D" expand=1]

This is when you start to think “Is the crest of that wave getting closer? Actually, you know what, I can’t tell because half of the Pacific Ocean is flooding my eyeballs.” Once the din of the waves and the water in your face floods your senses, your overwhelmed brain will compensate by repeating one word or phrase over and over and over. Some will simply mutter multiple "No's" through gritted teeth, some will have a much more colorful vocabulary, and still others will attempt to out-scream the motor.

5. Slightly less panic/slightly more enjoyment

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F6360201015095768221023094901_slight%2520enjoyment.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=303&h=5f8f0f827e9213c122ed1a1bf21cfdbcc793ddab4baa89094d70a204be94c024&size=980x&c=3036089755 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F6360201015095768221023094901_slight%252520enjoyment.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D303%26h%3D5f8f0f827e9213c122ed1a1bf21cfdbcc793ddab4baa89094d70a204be94c024%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3036089755%22%7D" expand=1]Once you have survived the trials of the waves, and maybe even a few airborne moments, your panic will begin to diminish. You might actually begin to smile and enjoy yourself. This sensation will be short-lived. Savor it while it lasts

6. Falling off the first time

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020271974520835-892723772_babyfall.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=149&h=1f8f3264046595129a887924391d29ffd38d7d82be44d747cf720182e72bbdf0&size=980x&c=863198904 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020271974520835-892723772_babyfall.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D149%26h%3D1f8f3264046595129a887924391d29ffd38d7d82be44d747cf720182e72bbdf0%26size%3D980x%26c%3D863198904%22%7D" expand=1]

Falling off the first time really isn't that bad. Whoever is driving is probably taking it easy since it's your first time. You get determined and think, "All right, I can do this. I will stay on longer."


7. “Falling” off the second time

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020100031738738-1358744653_tube%2520wipeout.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=711&h=73cd5c8ffbcd7b4361f11468211344980ab09cf1273df26201fd10037fb137dc&size=980x&c=3769289358 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020100031738738-1358744653_tube%252520wipeout.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D711%26h%3D73cd5c8ffbcd7b4361f11468211344980ab09cf1273df26201fd10037fb137dc%26size%3D980x%26c%3D3769289358%22%7D" expand=1]

Whoever is driving the boat now knows that you are not a novice and will not take it easy. Now the tube is a level ten mechanical bull and you are a level zero infant. This time when you get thrown off, it. will. hurt. You may not be an instant tubing expert, but you are a professional impromptu body surfer. You might change your mind and think, “I will not stay on longer.” When you wake up tomorrow and wonder where all the bruises came from, this is the answer.

8. My arms don't function

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020108925953333992598661_trx%2520arms%2520gif.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=657&h=4e1660bd295bca0b1fa9e6c5af913ab33f7ef6bba622d1f5f86b464b3c3ff781&size=980x&c=941903367 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020108925953333992598661_trx%252520arms%252520gif.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D657%26h%3D4e1660bd295bca0b1fa9e6c5af913ab33f7ef6bba622d1f5f86b464b3c3ff781%26size%3D980x%26c%3D941903367%22%7D" expand=1]

Tubing will tire out your arms. Seriously. Once you are done, they will either dangle uselessly at your sides for the remainder of the day, or they will cramp up into "tubing position" and you will have to walk around looking (and functioning) like a T-Rex.

9. Post-tubing sleep

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020118757183360594270504_sleepy.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=977&h=da048a8711b2b6b31723b3275d940089097de493af465c206a46e7542a0ccb14&size=980x&c=495021190 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020118757183360594270504_sleepy.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D977%26h%3Dda048a8711b2b6b31723b3275d940089097de493af465c206a46e7542a0ccb14%26size%3D980x%26c%3D495021190%22%7D" expand=1]

This is the rewarding (?) part. Post-tubing sleep is some of the best sleep you will get in your life. You will be tired. Your arms will be jelly. You might have a concussion and multiple broken bones and a few pints of water in your lungs. At this point, nothing feels as good as having sturdy mattress beneath you to soothe your aching everything.

10. I think I want to go tubing again

[rebelmouse-proxy-image https://media.rbl.ms/image?u=%2Ffiles%2F2016%2F06%2F20%2F636020121059110169-855477820_thumbs.gif&ho=https%3A%2F%2Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net&s=34&h=043606e778944c00544abd9a6b057c101b408ff95f6bd68d753ebbaa547c95d8&size=980x&c=1340089434 crop_info="%7B%22image%22%3A%20%22https%3A//media.rbl.ms/image%3Fu%3D%252Ffiles%252F2016%252F06%252F20%252F636020121059110169-855477820_thumbs.gif%26ho%3Dhttps%253A%252F%252Faz616578.vo.msecnd.net%26s%3D34%26h%3D043606e778944c00544abd9a6b057c101b408ff95f6bd68d753ebbaa547c95d8%26size%3D980x%26c%3D1340089434%22%7D" expand=1]

Days, weeks, or years after your first tubing experience, you might be presented with the option to go again. You will reflect back on the moments of water-soaked horror and realize that they miiight not have been as terrible as you remembered. You'll hop back on and think, "Hey, this isn't so bad." But if you hear a mysterious voice from laughing at you from deep beneath the water, don’t worry, that’s probably just your imagination.

Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
Featured

Planning Another Christmas Party

Don't just plan another plain party but get creative to have everyone wanting to come back next year!

6530
Getty Famous

You know it's Christmas when the radio stations change to all of your favorite holiday tunes, the air is still, and stores have the best sales. With all my favorite things from Christmas happening my least favorite probably has to be when I have to go to another same old boring Christmas party that I get invited to every year. Here are some Christmas party ideas so that you won't have another sad Christmas party.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

High School Soccer is Wildly Important

For Young Players Who Want to Succeed at The Next Level

11978
High School Soccer is Wildly Important

Whose choice is it? The parent? The player? There are a number of reasons that a kid may sit out of high school soccer, and to be completely honest; It is a huge mistake. High school soccer is the final piece in the puzzle that takes a player from above average or elite, to college ready by the end of their senior year. Every year thousands of talented athletes don't play for their high schools. Why though?

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List

December is around the corner, are you ready?

9774
8 Things That Should Be On Everyone's Holiday To-Do List
Unsplash.com

As they tend to say, its the most wonderful time of the year! People have begun to compile their Christmas to-do lists in anticipation for the season of sugarplums and gingerbread.

The history of the Christmas to-do lists goes back hundreds of years, almost as old as the holiday itself, however, people tend to fall out of this habit as they get older. This is unfortunate, as the theme of Christmas tradition can add bundles of the spirit of joy to your families.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

Fall Weather Must-Haves

Put away the swim suits and your favorite high-waisted shorts!

9742

The transitional months of fall can cause some fashion headaches as you try to figure out what clothing to keep in your closet. With limited amount of college living space and the ever-unpredictable Nebraska weather, sometimes it’s difficult to know what should be taking up that precious closet space as you transition into winter. As you pack away those tanks and shorts for the chilly months ahead, get your closet ready with a few Fall must-haves. 

Keep Reading... Show less
Content Inspiration

Top 3 Response Articles of This Week

Take a look at the articles driving big conversations on Odyssey.

8528
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/video/we-are-rollins-odyssey
https://www.theodysseyonline.com/video/we-are-rollins-odyssey

At Odyssey, we're on a mission to encourage constructive discourse on the Internet. That's why we created the response button you can find at the bottom of every article.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments