There are so many things I've been learning over the past couple of months regarding healthy relationships, whether that may be with a significant other or even a friend. I've learned that people are allowed to leave you, and you are allowed to leave people. If it's hurting you, let it go. I've learned that people are allowed to break up with you, and you're allowed to break up with people. Yes, it hurts. Yes you like them, hell, maybe you even love them, but it's no use staying with someone that doesn't make you happy anymore.
It's no use offering yourself up to someone when they can't do the same for you. People are allowed to love you but not want to be with you and you are allowed to do the same. This is one of the biggest things I've learned, that forced relationships just aren't worth it. If they wanted to prove themselves to you then they would.
People are allowed to not want to talk to you, I know we say communication is key in relationships but sometimes the time for talking is over. Talking gets so damn tiring, and eventually it feels like you're just repeating yourself. People are allowed to put their happiness before yours and do what makes them happy even if it does not include you. This is so hard because if you're like me, you pour your entire being into someone and can't stand the thought of somehow putting yourself over the one you love but listen.. you've gotta love yourself first. Realize that you come before anyone else. Realize that sometimes the people you love don't deserve you.
Stop sacrificing your needs and changing your character to satisfy other people. If you're doing more sacrificing than Jesus herself in your relationship it just may be time to let it go.
I'm learning that relationships should be sacred safe spaces, that your lover is supposed to make you feel at home. I'm learning that you deserve to be in a relationship with a person who doesnt make you compete for their affection and never has you guessing where you stand with them. I am learning that if you find yourself arguing to win in your relationship, consider what you value more: the love you share with that person, or protecting your ego. In a healthy relationship, your partner hears you out if you’re upset, and their goal is to avoid upsetting you in the future, not to debate whether you should have been upset in the first place. Please always remember this.
I am realizing that I am a lover who doesn't know how to show it correctly sometimes and that's okay because I'm learning, I'm changing constantly. Relationships aren't easy, we all know that. Protect your safe space. Protect your heart.
