I don't want to be happy. There. I said it. I am absolutely certain that happiness is not for me. I don't have time for "happy." I have better things to be. I want to be joyful. I want the joy that I've found in Christ to spill out into every aspect of my life. I want to smile through the storms of life because my Jesus can walk on the water. I want to run the race that is set before me and not finish it weak and spent. I want to run that race with endurance until I meet my Maker.

We spend so much time chasing happiness, but happiness is fleeting. Happiness is like a mirage in the desert that you always see before you, but can never reach. Settling for happiness is like making mud pies in the slums when we've been offered a holiday by the sea. Happiness is so temporary and so cheap, but it is the best thing that this world can offer us. It is the only thing that this world tells us we have to live for. I don't want to put all the hope I have in happiness.

I read an article earlier this week about a girl who had graduated from college with an engineering degree and opted to live in a garage apartment in Hawaii and be a waitress so she could surf anytime she wanted. That was what was going to make her happy. She wrote with such eloquence that it was easy to get swept up in what she was saying. However, the message of her piece was hollow and unfulfilling: do whatever it takes to make yourself happy in this moment.

Moments pass faster than the flash on a camera. Eating an entire chocolate cake may make me happy in this moment, but it is sure to make me unhappy in the next. Happiness is fleeting, but joy regardless of circumstance is unflinching and infectious.

A very dear friend of mine was born with heart problems that plagued her all of her life. She had to have a serious heart surgery to fix them, and over a year later, sometimes she is still weak. No one would blame her for being down in the dumps and pitying herself, but she doesn't. She smiles. She laughs. She praises her Lord. She is filled with a joy that supersedes all circumstance. God uses her in a mighty way because she exemplifies how Christ's strength is made perfect in our weakness. No one I know is as strong as Keslan, but her strength isn't her own. It comes from God.

We serve a mighty God. He doesn't take anything from us without offering us something far, far greater. The world may whisper in our ear, "Follow me and you might find happiness." Christ says, "Follow Me and I will give you joy unspeakable."

I am done chasing the idol of happiness. I want my Father's joy. I want to run and not grow weary. I want to radiate Christ's love. I want to be able to smile even though I have every reason to frown because my God is faithful through every circumstance. I want to taste and see that the Lord is good. I want Christ to be the fountain of my soul. When you look at life through the lens of all these heavenly things, you see that happiness is so cheap and so trivial.

I want more than happiness. Give me joy. Give me Jesus.