Sometimes, little babies and toddlers are absolutely adorable with their little puffy cheeks and huge smiles. But, just because my heart can melt for a second at the sight of a happy baby, doesn’t mean I have to want to have kids.

It’s not something I even bother telling most of my family, or a member of an older generation, because some have already said they think I’m crazy for not wanting to be responsible for a breathing human being, or they say my mind will magically change one day. Maybe it will, but right now, I don’t see any screaming babies in my future.

Let’s be real. Not only is the world is a bad place, but it’s not getting better anytime soon and a child should not have to suffer through seeing the pain of the world. I’ve been through rough times, had friends who contemplated suicide, watched families be torn apart, and that’s just not something I would ever want my hypothetical future child to have to go through. I know that’s “just how life is,” but it would break my heart to see my child in pain. I love staying updated on the news and knowing what’s going on in our nation and world, but that has just added more fuel to my fire of fear.

Don’t get me wrong, I think kids play a huge role in our society and if by chance I ever did get pregnant, I would without a doubt keep the little stinker and pray I wouldn’t screw up his or her life, but that also sounds absolutely terrifying.

Honestly, I really don’t think I would be a good mother. I’m sure many women feel like they wouldn’t be fit to be a good mom, then they have kids and turn out to be a wonderful parent. I’m genuinely happy for those people and their children. But, I don’t want to run that risk. Mothers shape our lives and help us become who we are — some do a great job and some struggle. I would never want to be the reason that my child is hurting or unhappy with the person they have become. I don’t want to mess up as a parent and shape them into a terrible person. On the contrary, I also fear that I would be that mother that makes her kid her entire world and loves her kid a “little too much,” and just ends up smothering them.

But, I’m also a little selfish. My work ethic is one of the things I am most proud about in my life. At times when I worked three jobs, stayed up till 4 a.m. to make sure my duties were being completed or took on a leadership position, I was truly happy. I would rather further my career and continue to have a strong work ethic than put my life on pause to raise a child. I don’t mean for kids to sound like a “burden,” because they aren’t. But at this point in my life, I would rather enjoy it as much as I can, child-free.

You may be reading this and feel like you have found flaws in my logic and completely disagree. That’s OK. I understand any frustration toward my own opinion, but I, along with the other millions of woman who plan to not reproduce a child, should not be judged for it. For whatever reason we don’t want to reproduce another human being, it does not mean we are terrible people. While others are excited about having kids, I’m not planning on it. And that should be OK, too.