About two or three weeks ago at the bar with my bestie, I've experienced an awkwardly situation. Being tispy and on the verge of drunkness the club was playing the last tracks of the night.

Around this time I was dancing in my own world and this man of color, do not know his ethnicity, pop my dancing bubble and compliments my hair. After a few exchange of words, he asked if he could touch it. Being buzzed and never experienced this first hand, I told myself why not and said sure. Let me tell you this was extremely awkward. It was similar to this,

but homie was both hands in my hair, it would be close to when a person is mixing all the ingredients in a salad but without the tongs.

Then homie proceeds to say, "It's so soft, I thought it would be rough and hard." From that moment I knew this was a bad idea. In my head, my inner Tamar Braxton said,

and I wanted his hand out my hair ASAP and go back to my bestie and try to enjoy the remainder of the night since homeboy basically ruined it for me. I was ready to go.

First of all, if a person of color, specifically a black person, lets you in their sanctuary of their hair and even give the blessing of you to touch it; give a respectable squeeze and be on and about your way. This interaction should last from 10-15 seconds at the most. In this interaction, it is crucial to say a respectable compliment. Black hair is not a petting zoo and just because you asked does not mean I have to say yes. I understand being curious and wondering how it feel and all that jazz but the majority of the time when a person asks a person of color, again specifically a black person, to touch their hair it will make them very uncomfortable and will regret the encounter if they did allow. Most of the time, the fascination of black hair comes off as a fetish and then the black person should feel grateful when the other person feel entitled because of their gender or race, feeling superior because of race or gender.But when I was sober enough to get a couple of clues, I just realized that for him to be a person of color, he should have a slight idea of how uncomfortable this made me feel. Maybe, him being a man and an non-black person of color, blinded some of his judgment.

Even with the disturbing distraction, I found my bestie and we continued to dance and have a good rest of the night. I was not going to let him ruin my mood, but I sure did wash my hair the next day. I'm not too fond of other peoples' hands in my hair unless, you are in my family, and even that is limited, my closest friends, and my boyfriend. But from now on, if someone I do not know ask to touch my hair, the answer will be no and I'll keep it moving quickly. Lesson learned.

The only positive thing that came out of this situation was that my hair of black cloud fluffiness changed the stereotypes he thought of black hair. But me and this black cloud of fluffiness will continue to slay.