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Politics and Activism

Don't F*CKING Tickle Me

It is not fun. It never has been fun.

Holden J. Bernstein

Feb 26, 2018

Boston

439

pxhere

Okay, I get it. I am 5'1'', bubbly, and energetic; I am pretty damn cute. This does not mean that I am ever okay with being tickled.

For as long as I can remember, including in my childhood, I have hated being tickled. The suckiest part about hating to be tickled is that our natural reaction to tickling is laughter, which makes people believe that the person they are tickling is enjoying it, when in reality we have no say in the matter. This becomes increasingly problematic, especially as more stories of sexual harassment come out in the media; it is so easy to say "but she was smiling and laughing". Someone's body can smile and laugh and that still does not give you permission to touch it.

Some people, especially kids, enjoy being tickled. They like the playfulness of it all, especially when being tickled by parents, peers, or other adults that they trust. The idea of "the tickle monster" is great for the kids who want that kind of attention, but I was never one of those kids. I have always liked to have agency over my own body, and if an adult ever went to tickle me, I would always say "NO!", though this would not stop them. They took my "no" as a "try me" and would tickle me anyway, and I would usually end up sobbing as I laughed hysterically without agency.

This has not changed into my adulthood. Especially people with whom I interact romantically, their instinct is to tickle me even when I resist. These people are not assailants, they are people who in other, more overtly sexual situations would definitely ask permission before touching me, but because we have accepted tickling in our culture, they do not ask. My advice to you, anyone who spends time with me, ask. I will probably say "no", but fuckingask me before doing something to me that makes my body literally spasm. If you do not, I will do anything I can to get you off me, and will most likely bite you in the process.

When you tickle me without asking you are not being cute, you are taking control of my body without my permission. You can't do that. No one can.

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Don't F*CKING Tickle Me

It is not fun. It never has been fun.

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The Best Lines from the Fab Four

And in the end, the love you take is equal to the love you make

The sun is up, the sky is blue, it's beautiful and so are you

Love is old, love is new, love is all, love is you

There's nowhere you can be that isn't where you're meant to be

Life is very short, and there's no time for fussing and fighting, my friend

He say, "I know you, you know me", One thing I can tell you is you got to be free

Oh please, say to me, You'll let me be your man. And please say to me, You'll let me hold your hand

It was twenty years ago today, Sgt. Pepper taught the band to play. They've been going in and out of style, but they're guaranteed to raise a smile

Living is easy with eyes closed, misunderstanding all you see

Can you hear me? When it rains and shine, it's just a state of mind

Little darling, it's been long cold lonely winter. Little darling, it feels like years since it' s been here. Here comes the sun, Here comes the sun, and I say it's alright

We danced through the night and we held each other tight, and before too long I fell in love with her. Now, I'll never dance with another when I saw her standing there

I love you, I love you, I love you, that's all I want to say

You say you want a revolution. Well you know, we all want to change the world

All the lonely people, where do they all come from. All the lonely people, where do they all belong

Oh, I get by with a little help from my friends

Hey Jude, don't make it bad. Take a sad song and make it better

Yesterday, all my troubles seemed so far away. Now it looks as though they're here to stay. Oh, I believe in yesterday

And when the brokenhearted people, living in the world agree, there will be an answer, let it be.

And anytime you feel the pain, Hey Jude, refrain. Don't carry the world upon your shoulders

I'll give you all I got to give if you say you'll love me too. I may not have a lot to give but what I got I'll give to you. I don't care too much for money. Money can't buy me love

All you need is love, love is all you need

Whisper words of wisdom, let it be

Blackbird singing in the dead of night, Take these broken wings and learn to fly. All your life, You were only waiting for this moment to arise

Though I know I'll never lose affection, for people and things that went before. I know I'll often stop and think about them. In my life, I love you more

Obviously the best superpower.

There have been many lessons learned.

1. The importance of traditions.

2. How to be thankful for family and friends.

3. How to give back.

4. What the word "community" really means.

5. That it isn't about the destination, but the journey.

6. The consequences of making bad choices.

7. To trust people, until you have a reason not to.

8. To be welcoming and accepting of everyone.

9. How to be my own, individual person.

10. How to work for what I want.

11. How to be great at giving directions.

12. How to be humble.

13. To be well-rounded.

14. How to be great at conflict resolution.

15. The beauty of getting outside and exploring.

16. To be prepared for anything.

17. That you don't always have to do it alone.

18. How to be creative.

19. To brush off gossip.

I have never been so thankful to know you.

Dealing with the inevitable realities of college life.

Don't freak out

Email the professor

Attend the first class

Keep attending class

Have a backup plan

Remember that everything works out at the end

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