We live in a culture in which it is perfectly acceptable for women to show their emotions. Women can be upset and even cry in front of people without being judged or told to grow up. However, that same courtesy is often not extended to men. Whereas women are thought of as gentle, delicate creatures with a spontaneous overflow of powerful feelings, men are thought of as stoic individuals who are not supposed to express any feelings they may have. I do not agree with this arbitrary stereotype, and here’s why.
1. Feeling and expressing emotion is not a uniquely feminine trait. Good and bad things happen to everybody, and people often respond to those things through an emotional lens. Why is it only socially acceptable for one gender to express their emotions when both men and women have feelings?
2. Limiting a man’s emotional responses limits his avenues for releasing negative feelings. If we teach men that they are not allowed to express their emotions organically (or at all), that can lead them to find other, more socially acceptable, methods of drowning their sorrows, such as drinking or sleeping around. This will not solve any of their problems, but it will create new ones.
3. Because men are taught to suppress their emotions, they often cannot recognize and identify emotions as well as women. Identifying emotion is a useful skill to have when dealing with people in your professional or personal life. It can improve interpersonal relationships, build trust, and promote a sense of closeness between people. Why should men lack skill in this area because society deems it ‘unmanly’ for men to be in touch with their emotions?
4. Man Up is not a synonym for grow up. Telling someone to grow up is perfectly acceptable, as it promotes maturity. 'Man up,' on the other hand, attacks a man's masculinity and suggests that the man being spoken to is not good enough as he is. Is this really the message we want to send to our co-workers, friends, and loved ones?
5. Sometimes being strong means expressing emotion. It isn’t easy to be ‘weak’ in front of others when society disgraces you for doing so. Men who openly express their emotions are strong enough to recognize that it doesn’t matter what society thinks about masculinity. Furthermore, as many people (both men and women) are afraid to be vulnerable in front of others, those who express vulnerability are actually stronger than those who do not because they are totally open about who they are and what they feel.
6. There is no right or wrong way to be a man. Maybe you’ve heard that “real men wear pink” or that “real men know how to do x or y,” but those beliefs are not gospel. The truth is, any male is a real man. Stop comparing men based on their talents, personalities, or personal preferences and stop telling them to “man up.” Telling a man to “man up” is essentially telling him that he does not fit your personal description of a man. Sorry to tell you this, but your opinion is just that — an opinion. It does not need to be shared.
For more information, please watch this video. *Warning: foul language is used.*
