You were given something so beautiful and amazing, and you thought your life could never be more perfect. You had been shown grace and kindness beyond your wildest dreams and couldn't fathom why you of all people should be blessed so abundantly. Everything felt safe and right and secure…you had your ups and downs, sure, but you could look forward to the future while feeling loved and confident of where things were going.
And then, out of nowhere, it happened: the thing that rocked your entire world and snatched out from under you the thing you valued more than almost anything, leaving you disoriented and upset and unsure of where to go from here. Maybe deep down you'd always known that this would happen – that things couldn't be the same forever. Life brings so many changes, and you were determined to handle those changes as they came. You just didn't think they would come so soon. You weren't prepared in the least.
Maybe things weren't completely altered. They were just different, and you needed time to adjust. But how to sort through the conflicting emotions and thoughts that swirled through you on a daily basis? And in the midst of all the sadness and confusion and even anger lay the underlying feeling of regret.
Mainly, you regretted that you didn't appreciate what you had while you had it. Maybe you hadn't lost that thing entirely, but things had changed…and perhaps most of your anger was directed at yourself for not valuing your blessings as much as you should have. You dwelt in the regret and longing to go back and make things right – to take back words that should never have been spoken, to show kindness and love and appreciation when you failed to.
You became stuck in a never-ending swirl of spite directed at yourself because you should have known this day would come. You did know…but you didn't know when it would come, and now you were dealing with the consequences of not living every day as if it were the last of its kind. Now you could only look back on all of your "lasts" and wish you had appreciated them more when they happened…because you didn't know they would be your last.
But slowly, surely, you come to a point where you not only accept the change – you find the strength to forgive yourself and concentrate on being better in the future. You realize that not all is lost – you still have a lifetime of opportunities to learn from your mistakes and to make up for the past. You realize that if you keep dwelling on your past mistakes, you could destroy your chances at fully appreciating what you have in the present…and that will only lead to the same sadness and hurt in the future.
Whatever it is you love, don't ever take it for granted. It sounds so cliché, but it's so true. You never know when things will change. And when change does happen, it will hurt. But you can learn to not only embrace the change but to forgive yourself and move on – to be a better person tomorrow.
