As a child, I was always told to "kill your enemies with kindness." Throughout most of my life, this has been my perspective on how to treat people I do not get along with very well. However, over the past few years, I have strived to execute a new perspective on how to treat those who hurt you, make fun of you, and say hateful things to you.
Matthew 5:43-45 says, "You have heard that it has been said, 'Love your neighbor and hate your enemy', but I tell you, love your enemies and pray for those who persecute you, so that you may be sons (and daughters) of your Father in Heaven."
Upon re-reading this passage a couple of years ago, I came to the realization that Jesus calls us to go above and beyond the standards the world calls us to. The world thinks that being nice to those who don't deserve it and treating others as you want to be treated are good ways to deal with other people in a positive manner, and they are right. However, Jesus expects more out of me than that. He wants me to LOVE my enemies and to PRAY for them.
Because of Jesus' command, I no longer am satisfied in just "killing people with kindness." I prefer to pray for and love those who have disdain for me. To most people, it understandably does not make sense to love those who hate you and pray for those who persecute you, especially when they cause such heartache and pain.
Yet... I choose love. I choose love over hatred, I choose to love over my pain, I choose love over the easy road, and I choose to love even when it is difficult. Loving those who hate me is definitely a difficult task. I find it very frustrating sometimes to love someone even when they treat me like a bug on the sidewalk, but it is very worth it. To choose to love in the face of adversity and whenever you are spat upon takes a lot of effort - and courage. Loving those who seem unloveable is a difficult business, but in the end you will grow unbelievably stronger and ultimately happier with yourself in this life. Bitterness linked with hatred causes unnecessary pain with both parties; however, love conquers all and even the most ingrained hate-filled person can be overcome when love is in the picture!
While my enemies decide to pour bitterness into their hearts while persecuting me, I take the opportunity to pray for them. There's something about praying for someone else that does not allow you to hate the person. If you are praying for their well-being instead of thinking of ways to show that person you don't like or care for him, it makes it very difficult for you to foster any acrid feelings toward the person. Trust me, I'm in no way, shape, or form perfect at praying for someone who has hurt me. I don't always immediately pray for the person and instead, unfortunately, sulk in sadness and mull continuously over what I did to the person to make him act out at me. Sometimes, I even get to the point of almost being angry with the person before the thought even crosses my mind to pray for him. But the moment I set my heart on prayer for the person, an immediate feeling of peace crashes over my heart, like a tidal wave gently combing over the shore. It frees my spirit and allows me to soar to greater heights of love and depths of peace.
These are just a few of the reasons I do not simply settle for killing a person with kindness. Loving those deemed as unloveable is just a small price to pay for such great rewards; losing your sore attitude against somebody else makes you a happier person and allows you to love yourself even more. Praying for them frees your soul and can even heal the other person too.
It is crucial that we display love and participate actively in prayer. After all, for someone to harbor so much abhorrence in their soul is beyond saddening. Something must have caused the person to decide to treat others like they are not worthy a penny, to poke coarse and hateful fun at another to speak lies and curses upon a person, to shame someone into hating themselves. Praying for the person who despises you is a concept which allows you to free yourself from any specks of revulsion, and does not allow the seeds of bitterness to take root into a weed of animosity, slowly killing your spirit and the vivacious life you live.
I encourage you to not just settle for killing others with kindness. Go the extra step and pray for them, and show them random acts of love. They won't expect it and it will confuse them, but your impact on the one who hates you in going out of your way to be nice AND pray for them AND love them might just save that person from himself in the process of saving you.
