As a society, I think it’s safe to say that we lack a certain independence that existed in former times. It applies to everyone, men, women, boys, girls, etc. This doesn’t necessarily have everything to do with being constantly surrounded by company no matter what you are doing, but the existence of social media eases that part of us which can feel alone at times, too. I know from experience, there was a time when I hated the thought of doing things alone; from going to the gym, sitting to eat in the dining hall, going shopping, etc. People naturally love company; it’s human nature to want to surround yourself with the energy of others and do it often in order to fill the void of loneliness. But where does this fear of being alone come from? One word: insecurity.

From a young age, we harbor certain insecurities about ourselves; whether it pertains to our looks, social awkwardness, height, speech impediment, weight, you name it. As a little kid, these were the things that kids just laughed at you for and you either cried or shook it off and threw dirt in their face. Growing into an adult, those very same insecurities are the things you think about on a constant basis; but they are the things you don’t want the rest of the world to notice about you because of your fear of being ‘different’ or ‘ugly,’ and your fear that these things will lead to your loneliness.

But what exactly is loneliness? It comes from the fear and insecurity of being alone, which today is such an uncommon thing. With loneliness comes a lack of self love; a lack of self confidence in who we are; from the way we look, to the way we talk, and the way we portray ourselves to the rest of the world. I used to have that fear, that same panic and self doubt that so many people struggle with in their own lives. I was the girl who would not leave my room until I had someone to sit and eat with me; I was the girl who would not dare go to the gym to work out on my own without someone beside me to divert the attention away from myself in case anyone caught a glimpse of me. But not anymore.

I don’t think I can necessarily pin-point an exact moment I decided to venture out into the world and do things on my own, and I don't think it can even be traced to a specific moment in time. My favorite moments now are actually probably those moments I spend alone, in my own reflection. I solitarily venture out to grab coffee, go to the gym, sit down at a restaurant and eat a meal, read a book in the park, shop, etc. I do these things because I have come to love myself, and appreciate my mind, body, and soul for what they all are. I love my imperfections, physically, mentally, and emotionally; and I acknowledge them as imperfections that are nobody else's but my own. The things that people say make me “weird” or “ugly,” are my imperfections, and I know all of these things about myself already, but yet I still love them. My goal? To continue to love myself and those very same imperfections, and to keep growing in that very same sense.

So the girl who is sitting there by herself in the coffee shop, or the dining hall, maybe reading a book or writing something down is nothing to pity and feel bad for because of her lack of company. She is, instead, something to aspire to be someday. Because your beauty comes in your ability to accept and appreciate your own style or way about yourself, living in your own way, and knowing your own mind. “What makes you different or weird, that’s your strength.” - Meryl Streep