I Don't Mind Waiting For The Right One

I Don't Mind Waiting For The Right One

I know he's out there...
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I have always been in love with the idea of love; always wondered what it would be like to love someone and be in a relationship. I’ve never had a boyfriend, been in a long-term relationship, or been on a date (unless you count prom). It seems like it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand when I’m scared, or give me a hug when I’m sad. There have been times in my life when I have longed for a boyfriend, just so I could have those things, but there have also been times when I have felt a sense of independence, and not quite felt the need for a boyfriend.

Now that I am approaching the age of twenty, I think about the future a lot. I think about the next ten years, and how I’d like to be married by then. Right now the future is looking pretty dim, since there hasn’t been anyone to take interest in me, and I currently don’t have my eye on anyone. It sometimes makes me feel lonely and unwanted, but the thing that makes it easier is the fact that God has a plan for me.

Recently I received a letter from my church. They have a ministry in which they keep in touch with all the college students, so I receive a nice care package once a year, and find a letter in my mailbox every once in a while. This time the letter was written by one of the deacons, and it was about valentine’s day, which is quickly approaching. I actually found the letter pretty encouraging, because it was exactly what I needed to hear.

The first couple things the letter talked about were pieces of love-and-romance nonsense to be mindful of. In summary, God has a plan for my life; he knows who, or if I’ll marry. He knows how I’ll meet him, where we’ll go on our first date, and how long we’ll be together, and this means I need to trust him. This can be hard sometimes, especially when we want things to go a certain way, but God knows His intentions for us better than we do. Sure, there have been guys I’ve had my eye on in the past, but usually one of two things happens: I am too shy and scared to pursue him, or something happens that turns me away. If I turn away, I usually take whatever it was that caused that as a sign from the Lord that it wasn’t meant to be.

Now, if I want to get married, trusting God is a good way to go about it, but that doesn’t mean I do nothing. If a godly man comes into my life, I’m going to pray about pursuing him. Seeking counsel first is the way to go, and if God gives me the go-ahead, then I’ll be off, but while I wait for him, I need to be working on myself.

I’m not perfect. Not even close, actually. I know I will never be a perfect human being, but I can come close by leading a Christ-filled life. Another thing that was addressed in the letter was character; mine and his. In order to prepare myself for a relationship I need make sure I am living life as my best self, and that goes hand in hand with my relationship with Christ. As long as Christ is living in me, and our relationship is growing, then I know I will be putting my best foot forward.

This isn’t going to be easy. All of the things I just talked about are going to be extremely difficult for me, but well worth it in the end. Even though it’s hard, I don’t mind waiting; I know God will bring someone into my life for me to love and I pray for him all the time. My hope is that he is also working on himself, trusting God, and praying for me from time to time. Whoever he is, I hope he’s excited to meet me, because I can’t wait to meet him.

Cover Image Credit: Kamryn Malenius

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To The Toxic Relationship I Was Afraid To Let Go Of

To my younger self... I'm sorry.
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As time goes on the question that echoes in my mind is: "why?" Why did I let someone who was so undeserving have my love, time, and affection?

We all like to think that we have what it takes to mend the damage someone carries, but the fact of the matter is we don't. Hurt people, hurt people – and it was only when I tried to heal a bruised heart mine became the one in trouble. When you're young, vulnerable and under someone's spell you don't realize that you shouldn't have to rip yourself apart to keep someone else whole. I was scared of losing someone I didn't really have and I thought it was better to have someone halfway than not at all.

The irony of it all is that I grew up in a healthy environment. I have two parents who love my sister, each other, and myself unconditionally. They practice the same values they preach, some of which being loyalty, forgiveness, and how important it is to love each other despite the flaws that consume us. Those values were engraved so deep in my heart and soul I couldn't recognize when enough was enough or when to pull back and that just because I displayed these traits didn't mean they would be reciprocated. It took me a while to figure out I had to draw the line of determination from desperation.

It was a bittersweet realization when I looked up from my treacherous journey only to see it led me to a dead end, but I have never felt so liberated.

There's no denying I came out of the storm a different person and most definitely with a different heart. There were so many important lessons learned, both good and bad but the one thing that's for certain is it took me getting lost to find myself. You don't fully understand what you deserve until you experience something you don't. I learned the importance of self-worth and how crucial it is to not beat yourself up over the "coulda, shoulda, woulda's." I learned that in order to love someone, you have to start with yourself.

I know I'm not the only one who experienced this and I know I'm not the only one who wanted to figure it out on my own terms, but what I do know is that no one deserves it. I'm in my twenties now and still unsure of the actual meaning of love, but I know with absolute certainty that what I felt then was not it. I have so much growing, learning, and experiencing to do – and I fully intend on taking only those who deserve to be with me on my journey. No more and no less.

Everyone's story is different but the one thing they have in common is that we get to decide whom we share our stories with and how they make us feel. You never know which page your story will end with, so make sure it would be one you would be happy with. I urge every single one of you to rid yourself of people who do more harm than good. Life isn't forever.

Cover Image Credit: Thought Catalog

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12 You Should Know About Your Significant Other After You've Been Dating 12 Months Or More

You have multiple food orders memorized.

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Dating someone for a year+ means that you are bound to know things you might not have known in the early months of the relationship. You also might act differently than you did at the beginning of the relationship.

Here are 12 things you know when you've been dating for over a year.

1. Clothing size, shoe size

This one you can probably be able to figure out early in the relationship. But, you start to keep in the back of your mind and think of that person when you see clothes or a pair of shoes they might like.

2. You can guess what they are going to text back

Especially if it is just a casual conversation about nothing in particular. You know their go-to responses.

3. You have multiple food orders memorized

Their food orders, of course.

4. You have that one TV show you can put on and neither of you will complain

And that is "The Office."

5. You don't get jealous

How could you have lasted in a relationship for over a year and not have any trust?

6. You know likes and dislikes

And can assume if they are going to like or dislike something.

7. You got a LONG Snapstreak

474 day streak over here.

8. Their successes make you just as happy as it makes them

Seeing your significant other do well and accomplish something great is just as rewarding as if you had done the same.

9. Your friends are his friends and his friends are your friends

And you can all hang out together.

10. You have your favorite restaurants

That we always end up going to.

11. You've met everyone in the family and extended family

And you feel like part of the family.

12. You know extremely personal things about each other

That you would not necessarily share with the public.

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