I have always been in love with the idea of love; always wondered what it would be like to love someone and be in a relationship. I’ve never had a boyfriend, been in a long-term relationship, or been on a date (unless you count prom). It seems like it would be nice to have someone to hold my hand when I’m scared, or give me a hug when I’m sad. There have been times in my life when I have longed for a boyfriend, just so I could have those things, but there have also been times when I have felt a sense of independence, and not quite felt the need for a boyfriend.
Now that I am approaching the age of twenty, I think about the future a lot. I think about the next ten years, and how I’d like to be married by then. Right now the future is looking pretty dim, since there hasn’t been anyone to take interest in me, and I currently don’t have my eye on anyone. It sometimes makes me feel lonely and unwanted, but the thing that makes it easier is the fact that God has a plan for me.
Recently I received a letter from my church. They have a ministry in which they keep in touch with all the college students, so I receive a nice care package once a year, and find a letter in my mailbox every once in a while. This time the letter was written by one of the deacons, and it was about valentine’s day, which is quickly approaching. I actually found the letter pretty encouraging, because it was exactly what I needed to hear.
The first couple things the letter talked about were pieces of love-and-romance nonsense to be mindful of. In summary, God has a plan for my life; he knows who, or if I’ll marry. He knows how I’ll meet him, where we’ll go on our first date, and how long we’ll be together, and this means I need to trust him. This can be hard sometimes, especially when we want things to go a certain way, but God knows His intentions for us better than we do. Sure, there have been guys I’ve had my eye on in the past, but usually one of two things happens: I am too shy and scared to pursue him, or something happens that turns me away. If I turn away, I usually take whatever it was that caused that as a sign from the Lord that it wasn’t meant to be.
Now, if I want to get married, trusting God is a good way to go about it, but that doesn’t mean I do nothing. If a godly man comes into my life, I’m going to pray about pursuing him. Seeking counsel first is the way to go, and if God gives me the go-ahead, then I’ll be off, but while I wait for him, I need to be working on myself.
I’m not perfect. Not even close, actually. I know I will never be a perfect human being, but I can come close by leading a Christ-filled life. Another thing that was addressed in the letter was character; mine and his. In order to prepare myself for a relationship I need make sure I am living life as my best self, and that goes hand in hand with my relationship with Christ. As long as Christ is living in me, and our relationship is growing, then I know I will be putting my best foot forward.
This isn’t going to be easy. All of the things I just talked about are going to be extremely difficult for me, but well worth it in the end. Even though it’s hard, I don’t mind waiting; I know God will bring someone into my life for me to love and I pray for him all the time. My hope is that he is also working on himself, trusting God, and praying for me from time to time. Whoever he is, I hope he’s excited to meet me, because I can’t wait to meet him.