We've all done it before. Whether it's the consequence of being 14, new to social media and boiling mad at your best friend, or a side effect of one too many drinks... we've all called someone out ever-so-subtly on social media, whether it be some cryptic song lyrics on Facebook or a pretty obvious subtweet on Twitter.
Here's the thing. Even when you try to be sly about your post, we know who you're talking about. Especially if it's about us, or even if we're in the same group of friends. And odds are if you're posting it, you know that person is going to see it and probably call you out, either equally passive-aggressively on social media. Or, even more horrifying...in person.
So why do we choose to air our dirty laundry on social media, instead of just talking to each other face-to-face? Even by texting. Literally, anything would be better than being passive aggressive about it on the internet. We're all adults here, aren't we? Or at least, we're all trying to be?
While it might feel really good to hit post after tweeting "You're the reason I have trust issues." to the world, knowing all of your followers (and probably the subject of the tweet) knows exactly what you think about said person, that effect probably won't last. Not only are you probably the talk of your friend group (and not in a good way), but the person you chose to post about probably lost a decent amount of respect for you when you chose not to directly confront them.
Because really, that's the sort of thing that should be worked out in person. If someone hurts you, it isn't the world's job to fix it, or to validate your feelings with favorites, shares, and likes. Do we really expect that to work, anyway? Odds are, that post won't make you feel better... and it sure won't do anything to clear the air between you and the person you posted about.
Why are we so bad at talking to each other in person instead of taking to social media to air each and every grievance we have? I assure you, most of your followers (you know, the people who went to your high school) probably don't care to decipher your tweet. And if the person you're posting about is really as big of a scumbag as you're telling everything, he probably doesn't care, either. But, if you're posting about a friend you're in a temporary fight with, they probably do care. And hurting them by posting about your argument isn't going to change the fact that they hurt you. It's not going to fix the problem. But getting the courage to actually talk it out with them certainly might.
When I was starting high school, every argument anybody in my grade had ended up plastered all over social media. And yeah, I got caught up in it, too. And guess where it got me? Nowhere. It took sitting down for lunch with the people who had hurt me to solve our problems, not trying to come up with the most clever and subtle jab to make on the internet.
It's so easy to feel powerful when you're sitting at a keyboard with a boatload of feelings waiting to burst out. But ultimately, posting snarky status updates isn't going to make you feel better. Next time someone bothers you and you feel your fingers itching to type something, pick up your phone, punch in their number, and work it out that way. I promise it'll get you a lot farther than a Twitter war.
