The most important thing I've learned about being depressed is that almost everyone who knows that you're dealing with that will try to give you some type of advice or solution. Here's what NOT to say:
1. "You don't seem depressed."
Well, thank you for being a medical professional now and diagnosing me differently than a person who actually went to med school. You never know what's going on in someone's head. You don't know what kind of outside persona someone is putting on in order to stay strong. Sometimes the only thing to keep you from breaking down is if other people can see your strength.
2. "Everyone gets sad."
That's so true. Depression isn't just being "sad". Like all mental disorders, it's a lot more complicated than that.
Depression is
- not being able to eat because you want to feel something other than emptiness, so you focus on hunger
- not being able to get out of bed because the act of moving - even if it's just to go to the bathroom or shower or eat - seems impossible
- the lack of happiness, which ISN'T the same thing as being sad
- crying until you throw up
- having your biggest accomplishment in a day to be taking a shower
3. "Try this diet."
I'm sure that diets work great for some people, and it's definitely not a bad idea to look into it. But eating more vegetables isn't going to magically cure my chemical imbalance.
4. "Well, my neighbor's cousin's granddaughter's niece did this, and now she's cured!"
Depression isn't like an infection where you take an antibiotic for seven days, and then now you're all good and healthy. Not everything works the same for everyone, and that's okay. Everyone's depression is different; it's not a one-size fits all.
5. "Medication is for crazy people."
Well, if it's crazy for me to take a pill that makes me able to get out of bed in the morning and feel better, then I love being crazy. Medicine is nothing to be ashamed of. That's the thing about modern medicine. Scientists have worked for decades to create drugs of all kinds to help people. Take advantage of that.
6. "You should take medicine!"
It's generally not the best idea to give or receive medical advice if you or that person is not a medical professional.
7. "Depression is a choice."
Wow. Thanks for clearing that one up! You know, every morning when I wake up, I think to myself, 'Hey, you know what would be cool? If I were miserable all day.' Thanks for that one.
8. "So many people have it worse than you."
You know, you're right. There are plenty of people in awful situations. However, that doesn't make a difference on how I feel on the inside.
Depression isn't easy. It's a real thing. Don't be ashamed to get help and put yourself first.
