Why You Shouldn't Make Friends In College

Why You Shouldn't Make Friends In College

Don't do it. Worst idea EVER!

I bet you are wondering, "What on earth is this girl thinking?" Well, I'm thinking, you definitely should make friends in college. I got you, didn't I? Friends in college are easily one of the best parts in college. I love my friends back home, but the friends I have made here, at the University of Minnesota, have already helped me create numerous memories in a matter of a few weeks. So here are some reasons "NOT" to make friends in college.

Laughing sucks.

Why would I want to laugh? To bring happiness into my life? Distract from the fact that I have 60 pages of psych to read in and no motivation to do so? Homesick? All times I needed a good laugh, and I am so thankful for my new friends.

Study partners? No way.

Sometimes your room stresses you out and you decide that your friend down the hall has such a better atmosphere for putting in work. Sometimes you need a group to force your way to the library on a Saturday afternoon to pick away at your management homework.

De-stress? Not a chance.

Friday night movie night? Exploring campus on a Tuesday afternoon? Do these sound like fun to you? They sound like quite a good outlet for me.

Dinner pals? No thank you.

Going to the dining hall alone can suck. Especially when you get stuck somewhere then your typical dining hall. Friends make it easier. Most likely schedules align and you find friends with the same classes as you or where you need to meet to get a quick bite in. Thank God for friends, am I right?

Fun adventures? No, I'll stick to studying for hours on end on a Saturday.

I don't know about you, but studying all day, every day would probably get you ahead in your classes, but will emotionally and physically drain you. You need a quick break; you need time to yourself. You are able to make memories, and really, that is a big part of college. MAKING MEMORIES!

Free insomnia cookie? No, I hate cookies and really everything that has to do with happiness.

I don't know if this is just a rarity for my friend group, but we have had at least two random instances where one of our friend's parents sends a huge insomnia cookie order to their dorm. And of course, like good friends do, they share their cookies with us. I don't know about you, but a soft, warm, ooey-gooey cookie hits the spot now and then. And even, some friends get special home-baked treats sent to their dorm. PUPPY CHOW!

Travel companions? I'd prefer to walk alone.

Walking through a big campus, especially at night can be terrifying. I am a small town girl, and luckily I made some. big city friends to help me navigate my way through the massive campus of the University of Minnesota. Plus, you get conversations and your mind taken off the fact that you are on your way to a long day of classes.

Cover Image Credit: Maddy Davis

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The Pain That Comes With Having A Big Heart

It is a blessing and a curse having a big heart.

Finding friends in life is easy.

Finding friends who have the same morals and values as you is not as easy.

Throughout my whole life, I have had one best friend who has been a constant. We met in 6th grade and have not been separated since.

Sure, we have fights here and there, but honestly, out of all of them, we have never had disagreements. We see things the same way and I think that is why we have stayed friends even after I moved away for college 4 hours away. It is not that difficult being far away from her, actually.

Of course, it sucks and I wish it was not like this, but we both put in the effort to make time to catch each other up in our lives. Sometimes we go 2 hours without talking and other times we go a whole week. But once we talk, it’s like we just pick up from where we left off. I honestly thought we would have drifted apart after I left, but if anything we became closer because we both realized how much we want to stay in each other’s life.

Once I did come to college, it was easy to find friends. Nothing could ever compare to how close me and my best friend from home is.

After a year, I finally found my best friends away from home. I’ve gone through some friends here and there, but what I have realized after is that it does not matter how well you think you get along with someone; what matters is does that person care like you do? Do they have the same values?

It is a blessing and a curse having a big heart. That is just the way I was raised. I am a very optimistic person and I just want to make everyone happy, but by doing that I realize I do not give myself enough happiness. I’m so worried about being kind and pleasing everyone that by the end of the day I gave away my happiness to other people. However, I will never regret that or try to change it.

There is not enough kindness in this world for me to not spread my optimism.

By saying all that, I also have realized that finding friends with a big heart like me is nearly impossible. That is why when I do, I make sure to cherish that friendship and always put it first.

My best friend from home is like me. She is the sweetest person I know and always puts people before herself. She deserves nothing but the best and I will always be her best friend. We think alike, we act alike, and most importantly we love alike.

I am not afraid of having a big heart. I know it comes with consequences and that it breaks more easily, but it is who I am and I would not trade it for the world.

It can be hard to understand why others do not have the same heart as you, and I really believe I love more than I am loved. But finding friends who have a big heart too shows me that there are people that care just as much as I do.

Now I understand why my best friend and I are so close and why distance has and will never ruin our friendship.

Finding your best friends is not about what you have in common.

Finding your best friends is finding people the same as you- what you have on the inside and what kind of person you are.

Luckily, I have found more people like me in college, and I will love them unconditionally and forever be grateful for them and who they are as a person. I hope I never lose my big heart and that maybe I can even make people realize that I can’t help that I care so much.

One thing is for sure:

I will never regret caring for someone who does not feel the same way.

I will never regret loving someone who doesn’t love the same way

And I will never regret caring for someone who doesn’t have the same heart as me. I can only hope one day they realize how much I cared about our relationship and how little they did.

Cover Image Credit: Brooke Viger

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7 Reasons Your Clingy Friend Is Better Than Any Other Type Of Friend

I don't know about you, but I like clingy people.

For some reason, in today's society being "clingy" has been made into something bad. Something almost... ugly. I can't wrap my head around it.

Yes, there is a line between being clingy and being obsessive.

There is a point where it goes from being alright to... crazy.

That being said, the point before you cross that line is what I mean by clingy today. My best friend is the clingiest person I have ever met, and I don't hate her for it.

Sometimes I may lose my temper when I've had a bad day and she just wants to be on top of me, but I don't hate her for her clinginess.

I admit I'm a clingy person as well. I don't like to be left on read. I will double or triple text and feel no shame. If I care about you and am comfortable with you, I will hug you all the time or rest my head on you.

I'm clingy, and I know it.

But it's just because I want to always remind those that I care about that I love them. That I'm there for them.

That's only the service of why clingy friends are better. Here are some more reasons why friends who cling are better than those who push you away.

1. You Will (Almost) Never Be Left On Read

If you're like me, you don't enjoy being left on read. So luckily, with a clingy best friend, you know that they will almost always reply to your text. Even if it's just a smiley face.

2. You Don't Have To Worry About Conversation Dying

They will always keep the conversation going. Even if it's just a "yeah" or a smiley face. They always want to talk. So much so that they may just send you a few texts if you don't reply fast enough.

3. You Can Most Likely Count On Them To Always Hang Out

No matter if it's just sitting at home, going to a junior high sports game or going to a wedding, you can always count on them to be down to hang out.

4. No Mind Games

They'll be honest with you, even if it hurts. They're not going to wait 15 minutes to respond to your texts. They're not going to leave you on read just because you accidentally left them on read. They don't play those kinds of games; they need someone to cling to and love.

5. They Feel The Need To Constantly Be In Your Space

Alright, this can sometimes be more of a con rather than a pro, but I'm going to put it here. Clingy friends will always want to sit with you, always want to lean on you and always want to hug you. Those aren't bad things because they show us that we're loved. But when I'm cooking and you're standing so close to me that I can't move my spatula around, we may have a bit of a problem.

6. You Won't Feel Awkward

You know when you go someplace new and you don't know many people, or maybe just one person but it's kind of awkward to follow them all night? Well, have no fear! With clingy friends, you don't have to worry about that because they will be by your side the whole time to make you feel a little less alone.

7. Endless Hugs

They will give you a million hugs, even when you don't ask for one. That comes in handy when you're sad. Trust me.

Let's stop making "clingy" have an ugly connotation. When it starts to get obsessive, sure, then we can assume the worst. But if someone who loves you and wants to talk to you and is constantly there for you is too "clingy" for your liking, maybe the problem in the friendship is you.

Cover Image Credit: Abigail Stout

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