So I have a question for you... have you ever felt really sad or emotional out of the blue? Well, this week I found myself randomly just feeling a wave of negative emotions, even though nothing had happened for me to feel this way. What was concerning was that there wasn't necessarily a catalyst to these emotions. Nobody had said something to make me upset or anything, and I just out of nowhere was starting to feel really sad. Not only was I feeling sad, but I was struggling to come up with a topic to talk about in my article this week because I didn't want to write anything while being in that negative state of mind.

So, after allowing myself to take a few minutes to breathe, and to really just decompress and think about what may be the reason I was feeling this way, I started to write. I just began to write it all out, all of my frustrations, the things that I thought may be the reason why I was feeling down, but then it hit me.... I realized that I really didn't know what I was upset about, and i'm sure i'm not the only one who would agree in saying that not being able to pinpoint the cause of one's feelings is one of the worst feelings ever, because you know that you are feeling down, but you don't know what you are upset about, and furthermore you have no way of doing anything about it to then make yourself feel better.

Sometimes when I get upset or emotional I will just start to write whatever pops into my head, and today when I finally got myself to sit down and stop procrastinating to write this article it finally hit me. I have been so involved and keeping myself busy all the time that I never really took the time to tune into myself and my feelings. I then finally figured out what the core problem is, I realized I keep dwelling on mistakes I have made in the past and bad choices that I now live to regret.

When I had free time and stopped distracting my mind I was at a completely vulnerable space and my true feelings came out. I actually ended up having a meltdown because I finally realized that all of things I had been carrying from my past are still haunting me, and they are probably never going to fully be gone from my memory. The fact that I was taken advantage of really took a tole on me, and made me want to die. I was feeling so depressed and stressed out and alone and I really didn't know how to manage my emotions. I had been smiling on the outside but deep down feeling like I was dying on the inside and didn't know what to do.

Now this was over a year ago and I now am in a place where I realize that what is done is done, but still acknowledging my past mistakes takes me back to that time. Those scars will heal over time but those feelings will never be forgotten.

I think that it is important for all of us in whatever happens in our lives to understand that we are not perfect, and everybody is going to have their bad days, but to always treat others how you would want to be treated, because you never know what somebody could be going through, and believe me, things are not always as they seem.

What I want to say to you is to not let things you have done in the past that you regret and poor choices you have made define who you are, and who are going to be. We all make mistakes, and we all have had life lessons learned from those mistakes, and instead of beating yourself up and focusing on all that you have done wrong and where you could be or what you could have done differently, think about all that you are doing well and things that you do that you are proud of.

At the end of the day no matter what anybody else says or does you are the one who has to live with yourself, and if you always are thinking negative then you are only stunting your own potential and blocking your own blessings.

I like to think that everything happens for a reason, and what God has for you is for you. Even though I regret choices I made in the past, I have to remind myself every day that I determine my future and God is always on my side. My battles are already won, and look how far i've already come. Those experiences have only made me stronger and humbled me to be able to see life in a new light, and to have perspective. I challenge all of you to look at your lives and maybe pat yourself on the back instead of tearing yourselves down, because sooner or later you will find out that you can be your own worst enemy.

You have the power to choose to control your emotions and to not let one bad mistake affect the rest of your life. Live your life to the fullest and remind yourself that you are a beautiful soul and God has a special plan for you that you have yet to see, and know that getting emotional is not a sign of weakness, but a sign of heart, and it shows that you care. You can do anything you set your mind to, and you are more than the mistakes you have made. Continue to think positive and stay humbled, and remember to always live loved.