I Don't Know, And That's Okay: Coping With Uncertainties
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I Don't Know, And That's Okay: Coping With Uncertainties

For those who navigate through a life of dubiety

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I Don't Know, And That's Okay: Coping With Uncertainties
www.life-happens.co.uk

As a senior in high school, I am unavoidably caught in an endless whirlpool of pervasive questions from adults who know virtually nothing about me, the notoriously laborious process of college applications, and cups of coffee downed quickly before school. There are countless memories of this distinct period of time I intend to cherish that both school and living have prepared me for, but ultimately I am still figuring my life out. I do not know who I am, but everyday I get closer and closer to revealing the enigma that is myself. Through my personal journey, I have realized that there is more than one way to exist in this human existence: I am still figuring it all out, and that is okay. From defining choices such as college majors, to ones of lesser magnitude like what I will eat for lunch today, I do not know what I am doing. I have reached this peak of skepticism, but the only way for me to survive is to understand that life is not scripted- if anything it is an interminable improv show, interrupted by sudden moments of clarity. No matter how old I grow or the extent of my maturity, I will never have it all figured out, but that is what makes life mysterious, dynamic and challenging! It is unnerving, yet somehow thrilling, to know that I will still be figuring my life out well into my adulthood, but what is the point if I cant thrive under circumstances of uncertainty? Why must I dwell in this façade of knowing exactly what my life is about and what I am doing next? Where is the fun in knowing exactly what is in store? Every person on this earth lives an entirely singular experience and I don't know why we don't recognize such an original phenomenon that everyone experiences. To me, the aspects of my life that I am unsure about is because I am living through the longevity of the human experience, not because I am incapable of true stagnancy or consistency. I tend to awkwardly gloss over or completely ignore comments asking me about things I am disappointed with or not sure about, but I am honestly exhausted by that. I am tired of this expectation that we have to have our entire lives planned out in an instant as a child. What would your life be if you didn't experience those defining moments of spontaneity? What would happen without those late night rides with people I normally don't talk to, blaring music that you all love and yelling the lyrics like war chants? Who would I be without the all nighters spent with ones I love now, but did not then? Running away to hidden safe havens, kindling an unlikely friendship, even going for an unplanned career opportunity? Who would you be if your every move was calculated? A life without epiphanies is a life vastly wasted, in my opinion. I do not mean to say that you should never plan anything, but take stride in your ability to be alive in this present moment- life may surprise you. Next time you find yourself in a situation you might be stuck on answering- just say yes and see where it takes you- you never know what might happen. By embracing life's haziness and questions, I am not worried about whether or not a new development corresponds with my initial plan. I truly prefer it. You do not have to be anyone but yourself and you do not have to act like someone you are not. I know that this sounds cringe-worthy and trite, but it is true! There is more than one way to exist. There is no shame in uncertainty, nor is there in nonconformity. By happenstance, someone inevitably will question my life, but instead of rambling and begging the question, I will openly admit that I do not know. I am still figuring it all out, and I always will be.

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