I do not want a label. A label tells you what something is, and tells you what you need to do with it. As well, a label puts something in a category, in a filing cabinet, in a folder, in which it has been told what it is going to be and cannot change.
A relationship cannot be thought of in this way, as they are always changing and evolving. They cannot be defined in one way.
Facebook -- a social networking site millions of people use around the world -- allows you to put your relationship status out for those you are friends with to see. I have no problem with this, but if I do ever marry someone, do not want the word "married" as a level to define me, my husband or our relationship. Both of us deserve more than that.
I don’t want to just get married. I want to have a husband who is my best friend, confidant and companion and who will be actively supportive through thick and thin.
I don’t want to just get married.
I want to wear a ring on my left hand and look at it, even when I am in the all consuming whirlwind life can be at times, and know that the ring I am wearing is a visual reminder of a bond and friendship that cannot be described accurately with the use of diction.
I don’t want to just get married.
I want a strong relationship in which together, both of us decide marriage is good for us because of the commitment we have for one another. I want a team consisting of two people fighting for the same cause, in different ways as different people. I want each of us to achieve the goals we set out to accomplish as individuals, but support each other to the best our ability.
When commitment is strong, the next step for most is marriage as a way to put the commitment in writing and be able to celebrate the love between both people. However, let us not forget that up until a little over a year ago, there were couples around the country who were extremely committed to one another without the label of marriage at all in a physical sense.
Gay and lesbian couples did not have the option to sign a marriage license and have the benefits that come with that like straight couples have always had. In the case of some, their commitment level can be described as much stronger than the commitment level of those able to sign marriage licenses, because they had each other and that is what they wanted. They did care about some day being able to be married, who would not? The label of being "married" -- how that is supposed to change relationships was not something some of them were after. They knew they loved each other, wanted a life together, and that was enough. Now that they can get married, some of them will because they have waited years for it to be able to happen, but the marriage is more of a right of passage because they know their relationship will not change because of it. It is a time for celebrating the love, affection and support that has existed and will continue to exist between both parties.
To celebrate love, affection and support each day with someone would be ideal for most, I assume.
From the beginning until the very end, I want the person I decided to dedicate my life to to continue to grow with me, and continue to make our relationship stronger through the challenges we face. Dedicating your life to another soul is a decision that takes thought, whether it’s a quick or slow decision, you still have to think for a second about it. Because of that, if I make that promise to someone, I want to do everything I can to make to make the marriage as strong as possible.
I don’t want just the label on a social networking site for others to see. I want a team, a friend, a lover, someone to walk through life with. You cannot possible fit that into one word or phrase.
Relationships, as well as marriages, are never perfect. Certainly what I am painting with words in this article is a pretty picture, but one I believe can be created and molded into a masterpiece. In order to have a relationship that exists like this, effort and work exhibited by both parties is a necessity.
Building and maintaining a relationship of this caliber is not something that can happen overnight; it will have to be worked on every single day of the marriage.
I do not want a label. I want a happy, sad, troubled, laughter filled, authentic, raw relationship. I want to be privileged enough to have a best friend who loves me as much as I love him.
