My parents never really had many friends when my brother and I were growing up. We figured they were just lame and weird for enjoying each other’s company more than anything. The few friends my parents did have ROCKED. Their friends brought them belly-laughs, a permanently-extended helping hand, knowledge and opportunity. My parents also returned these precious gifts (because they rock). My parents have friends who truly made their lives better each and every day.
After 19 years of fighting this lesson, I have finally learned. You don’t have to be friends with everyone. You don’t have to be friends with people just because you went to high school with them. You don’t have to be friends with someone because that person lives by you. You don’t have to be friends with someone just because he or she is in your fraternity or sorority. The amazing thing about friendship is that you don’t owe it to anyone.
If someone can make you laugh until you pee your pants, make you a better person each day, and is willing to be your friend when it is the least convenient thing, grab that person tight and never let go. Seriously. Because it is more than just who you can be yourself around—a lot more.
Friends aren’t always nice; they tell you when you look fat in your formal dress and when you party too much and need to study more. They are brutally honest to you. They most likely talk shit to your face and describe you in the most beautiful poetry to a stranger (friendship is a weird thing, aye?). You don’t have to wonder whether or not someone is your friend and you don’t have to worry about being left out. Friendship is a mutual investment and is actually quite simple.
For some, you met these friends in 6th grade when you had acne and wore goucho pants (bless our souls). For others, you met them early on in college when we were all thrown to the sharks and forced to fend for ourselves for the first time (caution: this time was probably just as ugly as goucho pants, UGH). For others, you’re still searching for these gems. But if that is you, don’t settle. Please do not settle. And if you are lucky enough to know the feelings that true friendship brings, straight up, don’t be dumb. Keep in touch even when it’s hard, make sure they know you are madly in love with them, make sure they know all their efforts are appreciated, when you mess up own it (it will always make you better friends), when they need to get it together tell them, help them and let them help you.
I am thankful to know that when it comes to friends, quality is always better than quantity and to that, I thank my momma.
So thank you mom, for helping me learn that my friendship is valuable. That not everyone can be, nor should be friends with everyone. That just because you aren’t friends doesn’t mean you shouldn’t be friendly. Also that friendship is not a matter of convenience. And most importantly, you don’t have to be friends with everyone. And face it, not everyone can be lucky enough to have a friend like you.
