Something I’ve come to realize as a 20-something college student is that a lot of women, if not all, can’t seem to go anywhere without being hit on, harassed, or objectified.
Through personal experiences, most women have found it’s easier to lie and make excuses to avoid men rather than just saying no. We start to assume that men are all stuck under this misconception that they’re entitled to a woman’s attention solely because they’re nice to her—or just because they’re breathing the same air.
I hate to hold double standards, so before I go on I’m going to make a point and that is this: Not all men are the same. Ladies, if you don’t want a man to make you feel incompetent and idiotic then don’t do the same to them. By this I mean, do not automatically assume that a man won’t take a simple no for an answer. I think as women we need to believe in the capability of a man to be a decent human being and respect our decision to not fraternize with them rather than just assuming all men are the same and they’re all pricks.
But with this being said, a lot of us have come to find that a lot of men we meet when we go out seem to respect other men [or homosexual orientation] more than they respect us. So naturally, if a man is hitting on us and we’re just trying to have a good night out with our girlfriends we’ll usually say things along the line of, “Oh, sorry, I have a boyfriend,” “I don’t think my boyfriend would like that,” or the infamous have your best friend pretend to be your lesbian lover skit that goes a little like this—* friend grabs you buy the arm and pulls you away from creepy man * “Excuse me, why the hell are you talking to my girlfriend?”
Crazy? Maybe a little. Rude? Possibly. But we quite often do this to protect ourselves. Yet a lot of women don’t see the dangers in doing so. By making excuses to not talk to men instead of just saying we don’t want to; we’re assuming men are dangerous and depriving them of the opportunity to have to respond to the answer “no.”
To me, saying “I have a boyfriend” sounds a little bit more like, “I would but I’m taken, sorry.” Maybe I’m wrong, but to me it's a way to tell someone “maybe another time” rather than justifying the fact that you’re just not interested.
Ladies, gentleman, whoever is reading this—I don’t have a boyfriend and no, I’m not gay. I don’t need an excuse not to talk to you and I won’t make one up. Maybe, sometimes, I’ll naturally tell you I’m taken or I’ll save my friend from your drunken stupor by threatening you for touching my “girlfriend,” but I’m trying to be more conscious of assuring I don’t do that anymore.
We are not objects to be used, and we are not available at your leisure. I don’t go out with my friends to meet men, and I definitely don’t dress up and look cute for the purpose of impressing some nobody guy I meet at a bar. I go out for me, I dress up for me, and I’m sure a lot of other girls do the same.
So, no, boys, I don’t have a boyfriend. No, I’m not gay, and I’m not asexual. The truth is I’m just really not interested and I didn’t come out tonight to get hit on.
PSA: If a dog can understand no, then so can you.
