You’ve heard the spiel about being an independent woman from Destiny’s Child and Ne-Yo. They share the message that independence is the ability of doing what you want, when you want it, while spending your own money on your own time. Destiny Child tells us there’s a level of badass-ness to being independent, something that’s worth being celebrated; cue, “All the women who are independent, throw your hands up at me.”
Then we got Ne-Yo who tells it like it is: “There’s something about her, something oh so sexy about kinda woman who don’t even need my help.” Yet tell me about a time you saw a woman enjoying a cup of coffee, watching the newest feature film, or completing a solo adventure 100 percent alone and by herself. Did you think something along the lines of, “You go girl! You enjoy your alone time with your fabulous self!” Or something more like, “Aw, poor girl, should I join her so she doesn’t feel lonely? Her plans must have fallen through.” Probably the latter, right? But here’s the reality: Enjoying some much-needed alone time is a privilege that is not to be pitied.
Enjoying spending time alone is a big exclamation that you don’t need anyone but yourself to feel comfortable or confident. In fact, if you wanted to have company on any adventures to binge-watch Netflix or visit a new exhibit, you could simply ask a friend if they wanted to tag along. But sometimes, the greatest realization is that the best company you could have is yourself.
You decide where and when you want to go someplace (and when you want to leave). You decide how much you want to spend, and long you want to linger in one place. The only person you have to wait for is yourself (and the Boba worker who messes up your order). Most importantly, you can people-watch to your heart's content and change your plans as freely as you choose.
For those of you who confuse being lonely with being alone, you’re living under the misconception that individuals couldn’t simply enjoy spending time by themselves. In this case, I wonder why you place your false assumption on those independent ladies like myself, who enjoy their alone time. At the end of the day, if you don’t want to spend time with the one person you’re stuck with for life, we’re the not ones you should feel sorry for.
