Why Burning Bridges Is So Harmful

Why Burning Bridges Is So Harmful

Ending friendships and relationships is a scary habit.
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Grudges—we all have them. But they look different for everyone.

Maybe they are against people who wronged us a while ago.

Or maybe from a petty argument with a friend, a former boss, a coach who cut you from a team, or a professor who gave you a bogus grade on an assignment.

Whoever your grudge is against, I am about to ask you to do something crazy.

Forgive them.

Why?

Because burning bridges is an extremely harmful habit that will end up leaving you with nowhere to go.

For those of you who don't know what burning bridges means, it's cutting someone off from your life completely who used to be significant to you in some way or another. It's a metaphor for closing people off from your life and leaving with unfinished business or animosity.

Authority figures are one of the most commonly burned bridges. People have a bad working experience, quit, and say some words that can't be unsaid when they are officially done with the job. This is harmful because this is a loss of a potential reference, in my book is also a waste of a work experience if you can't list them on your resume.

Even if they really were a pain to work for—okay, but at least you are in the clear for acting respectfully when you leave, instead of giving them a reason to resent you and eliminate a potential reference. You never know how people are going to help you out in the future.

Friends are another burnable bridge. It's hard to find people outside of your family that you can trust. When they break that trust, cutting them off almost seems like the best (and easiest) answer.

This is a dangerous habit. Once you burn one bridge, this process becomes easier, and suddenly you have a rock hard wall up, unable to let anyone else in.

The one thing all these groups of people have in common—they are only human. We can't expect perfection out of everyone. However, you never know what the future hold, or if you will cross paths with them again.


I encourage you to mend your friendships and relationships because it's easier to mend a piece of a bridge than to burn the whole entire thing.


Cover Image Credit: Abigale

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How To Cope With A Best Friend Breakup


Breaking up with a boyfriend is one thing, but breaking up with your best friend is a whole new level of heartbreak.

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We all know breakups can be tough, but when that breakup happens to be between you and your best friend, things reach a new level of heartbreak. I met my best friend junior year of high school after our Spanish teacher randomly assigned us to be partners; we struggled so much in that class but in the end, we truly became inseparable. When senior year rolled around we were still close as ever; people would often joke that we were sisters because we looked and acted so much alike. We would go on little dates together, go to parties together, and were always the first person we called when something "major happened."

When my best friend's boyfriend of four years cheated on her while we were spring breaking in Europe, it became my duty to make her feel better; I would randomly drop off flowers and little notes to her house, spend countless hours just listening to her cry and vent, and even stopped talking to people associated with her boyfriend so as to show my "support." All of these things were no big deal to me considering I loved this girl like a sister; whatever she needed I was there to give that to her.

Things soon took a sharp turn when we entered not only the same college but the same sorority. While I was struggling with the social aspect of FSU, my best friend soon found new best friends. When I started having major issues with my boyfriend, I would automatically text/call my best friend as she did with me, but instead of support, I got the sense that she was passive and uninterested. Our little dates and goofy inside jokes disappeared and reappeared between her and her new friends, and my comfortableness around her soon turned into insecurity.

Coming to terms with the fact that the girl I knew everything about is now basically a stranger was a hard one to overcome; I didn't want to accept the fact that my best friend decided it was time to find new ones. It's heartbreaking knowing that the special things you shared with a person are now being shared with others, and it's hard to accept the fact that you aren't wanted or needed by the one person you thought would be by your side forever.

Since school has ended I think I have accepted the fact that we're no longer what we used to be. Of course, it still stings when I see social media posts with her new, college friends, but I just have to remind myself that this is part of life and I just have to move on. I will forever cherish the memories I made with her, but it's time to acknowledge that they were made with someone in my past, not with someone in my present.

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