Maybe a year or two ago I’d say I didn’t have as strong of an opinion about this. Maybe I even leaned toward thinking there was a soulmate for everyone. That one person that complements me perfectly like no other person could. Through my experience of love and heartbreak however, I have come to think of who we end up choosing to be with, as simply that, a choice. I believe there are multiple people that one person can live a very happy life with. Let’s face it… there’s a lot of people on this earth!
The idea of soulmates is so romanticized. We all want to believe in the fairy tales, the perfect prince to sweep us off our feet, and we will live in bliss forever. I won’t lie, I bought into this too. I believed there was only one person for me, until I had my heart broken. That’s when I came to realize love is quite irrational. The idea of a perfect soulmate is irrational. Everyone has qualities and quirks that another person won’t like about them, but once we’ve chosen and decided to deal with those differences, that’s when we make that person the one for us. When we fall in love, we give our whole selves to that other person, they are number one in our lives and while we are in love we consider them a soulmate until the relationship is broken. Fate might have it that you meet someone that you very much get along with and don’t have major obstacles in life together, and you end up with this person forever. You would consider them your soulmate. But if timing didn’t align, and timing is key, then the relationship would crumble for any number of reasons, and it doesn’t mean that those two people no longer love each other.
Once a person has experienced love and heartbreak, it opens the heart to let another just as close again. I believe one can have more than one great love in a life time. Does this mean one is a soulmate but the other isn’t? No love in the same, but is it to say one is better? Each person has different traits that complement you in different ways. No two loves are the same, because every single person is different. You love different things about each person that you fall in love with. Love is a beautiful thing. Love can be cultivated and flourish between any two people if it is chosen. Choice is the big factor. It’s about who we chose to be the person that we will go through life’s greatest and most difficult times. Yes, personality traits play a role in how well two people can get along but trying is key. It’s about trying and choosing that partner every day, It isn’t a perfect person, who has been chosen for us by the stars aligning.
I do believe those that have only loved once in their lives more than anyone else believe in soulmates. I’d say it’s simpler, it is beautiful thing. When you’ve loved more than once, you’ve shared your soul with more than one. Therefore, there can’t just be one mate, for they all have a part of you.
Although I don’t believe in soulmates, I know I will chose a good match for me. A great love.
