To My Friend Who Always Puts Others Above Herself

To My Friend Who Always Puts Others Above Herself

This isn't good for you.


To My Friend Who Always Puts Others Above Herself,

Hey there, I hope you know that you're fantastic. You're generous and brilliant, you're dedicated and loyal, and you're most of all caring. Like, scarily so. You are the kind of person that always makes time for the people they care about, the one who buys gifts for everyone for Valentine's day and remembers everybody's birthday. That's really great of you, and I admire that because I could never. Your constantly positive attitude makes you the kind of person everyone wants to spend time with, because let's face it, you're a ray of sunshine.

However, as generous and giving as you are, I worry about you. I think that you go a little far sometimes with how ready you are to jump to people's rescue, to a point where you sacrifice your own wants and needs for those of others. You work too much and too hard. That's not really a common criticism, but I think it applies. I think you're compensating. You're never openly sad or depressed, and maybe that's something you need to be a healthy, emotionally stable person. At a certain point, putting others before yourself as a means of overcoming your own feelings... it's too much.

When I say you're too generous, I mean it. Sacrificing your own sleep for your colleagues because they couldn't make it to work, even when you have class and another job and god knows how much homework to do. Giving out loans to people with the expectation that they'll pay you back, but no desire to ask for the money you lent when it isn't returned. Being afraid to even eat alone because you need to be surrounded by others at all times. These are problems.

In some ways, I think you're an enabler of other human beings' bad behavior. You promise you'll be friends with them no matter what, and then you do just that, even when they betray you. You always see the good in everyone, even though some acts are unforgivable. What's more, some acts shouldn't be forgiven, and you do it anyway. It's too far. If you always say "it's fine" and never confront anybody, you're failing them. I know you think you're helping, but you're not. A little bit of aid and forgiveness is good now and again, but there's something wrong when you've given someone their five thousandth chance. Your harem of friends isn't as good as you think. Sometimes, people do bad things, and sometimes they need you to call them out on it. What kind of friend tells people it's all going to be okay when it isn't?

My point is, you go too far sometimes. You never put yourself or your needs first. That's fundamentally wrong, and it concerns me that you think it isn't. Please, for my sake, please just learn to let things go. Learn to trust most, but not all. Learn to help, but know your limit. Let the people you care about learn from their own mistakes, don't just cover for them continuously. I hope you figure out that it's ultimately for the best.


Your Friend

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Me Saying I Don't Watch 'Game of Thrones' Is NOT Your Cue To Convince Me To Start

"Once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you."


Yes, I have flaws. We all do. But it seems as if though my biggest flaw is that I have never seen "Games of Thrones." Nope, not even one single second. I don't know why I haven't seen it, it's not that I'm particularly against the show. I guess it's just too late now for me to start it, as the premiere of the eighth and final season aired April 14th. And for some reason, I just feel that I'm too far behind to even attempt to start it.

But please, I beg of you, do not try to get me to watch it. I don't want to; I've made my decision that I have missed the "Game of Thrones" train and I have accepted my fate. It's OK, you can use your heavy TV series persuasion on someone else, don't waste it on me.

But not being a Thronie (I have no idea if you "Game of Thrones" fans actually use that term, but it's fine) comes with its own set of hardships. Yes, I know that missing out on "unquestionably the most acclaimed and beloved show on television" is probably the greatest hardship, I know, I know.

But trying to scroll through social media while seemingly every single person on my feed is posting about the show? Now that's hard. I see memes left and right, constant reaction videos, clips of scenes that I will never understand. I see people being shocked by certain characters doing certain things to certain other characters and I just cannot understand! It's tough, it really is. I feel like I'm in elementary school, sitting on the bench beside the playground watching all of the cool kids playing together. I feel excluded and uninvited to the party that is the "Game of Thrones" fandom.

It really is hard. It's difficult not understanding the jokes and comments about all the happenings in "Game of Thrones." But to those who are obsessed avid watchers, I apologize. I sincerely am sorry that I can never understand your "Game of Thrones" talk. I am sorry that my inferior self is not interested in your favorite show.

As some character that I will never know in "Game of Thrones" says, "once you've accepted your flaws, no one can use them against you." I have accepted that my major flaw is the fact that I have never seen "Game of Thrones" and that I, unfortunately, have no interest in watching. So please, don't use it against me. Besides, that one character that I don't even know said that you can't anyway.

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You Know You're From Trumbull, CT When...

The best memories are made in this boring, little, Connecticut town.


1. The majority of places you will consider to eat at are in Fairfield or Westport... Colony, Shake Shack, Country Cow, Playa Bowls, BarTaco

2. But if you find yourself too lazy to get on 95 for food, Panchero's is the go-to... never Chipotle. If it is past midnight, the choice always comes down to the McDonalds in Monroe, where you are almost guaranteed to see a group of people you know, or Merritt Canteen.

3. Once you got your license, your Friday night plans consisted of picking up friends, driving up and down Main Street, and, somehow, always finding yourself at the THS parking lot seeing who's car is there because there is nothing better to do.

4. In the Fall, you couldn't wait for Friday so that after school you and half of your grade could walk to Plasko's Farm for ice cream and apple cider donuts... and hope you could get them before the owners would yell at you to leave. (This one only applies to Hillcrest Middle School kids, AKA the inferior middle school in town).

5. You couldn't wait to be a senior so you could officially lead the BLACK HOLE at football games... if you were even willing to go in the cold.

6. You looked forward to the annual Senior Scav, the last week of summer before your senior year where a list of tasks is passed down by the recently graduated class... the official kickoff to senior year.

7. You pass by Country Club Rd. and get flashbacks from the worst Cross Country practices ever. Driving up Daniels Farm Rd. in the Fall and Spring, you are conditioned to yell "hi" out the window to your friends at practice.

8. You knew someone who worked at Gene's gas station... and found yourself spending more time there on the weekends than you would like to admit.

9. You are convinced Melon-heads are real after frequenting Velvet St. to see the abandoned insane asylum with your friends, IF you didn't want to drive all the way up to Fairfield Hills in Newtown.

10. You have had/have been to at least one middle school birthday party at the Trumbull Marriott.

11. You know that the 25mph speed limit on Whitney Ave. is way too slow... and can't help but hit a little air going down the huge hill at the top.

12. The guy at Towne likely knows your name.

13. You never find yourself turning right out of THS... that side of town is irrelevant for those who do not live there.

14. You know to avoid the Merrit Parkway from 4:00-7:00pm at all costs.

15. You know more than you would like to about people you aren't even friends with... in a town so small, things get around very quick.

16. Going shopping really means going to Target, or any store in the mall, for the millionth time that week.

17. The marching band was the best in the state and you would see them practicing, literally, every time you drove by THS.

19. Depending on the side of town you lived, you spent a lot of time at Five Pennies Park or Indian Ledge Park.

20. You would say you couldn't wait to leave, but when you got to college, you find yourself excited to come back to your hometown so you can reminisce on old traditions and make new memories.

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