To My Friend Who Always Puts Others Above Herself

To My Friend Who Always Puts Others Above Herself

This isn't good for you.


To My Friend Who Always Puts Others Above Herself,

Hey there, I hope you know that you're fantastic. You're generous and brilliant, you're dedicated and loyal, and you're most of all caring. Like, scarily so. You are the kind of person that always makes time for the people they care about, the one who buys gifts for everyone for Valentine's day and remembers everybody's birthday. That's really great of you, and I admire that because I could never. Your constantly positive attitude makes you the kind of person everyone wants to spend time with, because let's face it, you're a ray of sunshine.

However, as generous and giving as you are, I worry about you. I think that you go a little far sometimes with how ready you are to jump to people's rescue, to a point where you sacrifice your own wants and needs for those of others. You work too much and too hard. That's not really a common criticism, but I think it applies. I think you're compensating. You're never openly sad or depressed, and maybe that's something you need to be a healthy, emotionally stable person. At a certain point, putting others before yourself as a means of overcoming your own feelings... it's too much.

When I say you're too generous, I mean it. Sacrificing your own sleep for your colleagues because they couldn't make it to work, even when you have class and another job and god knows how much homework to do. Giving out loans to people with the expectation that they'll pay you back, but no desire to ask for the money you lent when it isn't returned. Being afraid to even eat alone because you need to be surrounded by others at all times. These are problems.

In some ways, I think you're an enabler of other human beings' bad behavior. You promise you'll be friends with them no matter what, and then you do just that, even when they betray you. You always see the good in everyone, even though some acts are unforgivable. What's more, some acts shouldn't be forgiven, and you do it anyway. It's too far. If you always say "it's fine" and never confront anybody, you're failing them. I know you think you're helping, but you're not. A little bit of aid and forgiveness is good now and again, but there's something wrong when you've given someone their five thousandth chance. Your harem of friends isn't as good as you think. Sometimes, people do bad things, and sometimes they need you to call them out on it. What kind of friend tells people it's all going to be okay when it isn't?

My point is, you go too far sometimes. You never put yourself or your needs first. That's fundamentally wrong, and it concerns me that you think it isn't. Please, for my sake, please just learn to let things go. Learn to trust most, but not all. Learn to help, but know your limit. Let the people you care about learn from their own mistakes, don't just cover for them continuously. I hope you figure out that it's ultimately for the best.


Your Friend

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Bonnaroo Is Unlike Any Other Music Festival

4 days of camping, 150 performers, 10 stages, and the most incredible experience you'll ever encounter in the middle of Tennessee.


The Bonnaroo Music and Arts Festival takes place in an enormous 700-acre field -- nicknamed "The Farm" -- in Manchester, Tennessee. Festival-goers from all over the country fly, drive, or walk into the festival to experience 4 days of music, activities, and food. This past weekend was my first time going, and I can without a doubt say that it was one of the greatest experiences of my life. One of Bonnaroo's common sayings is "Radiate Positivity," and the 4 days spent there are factual evidence of the saying. At Bonnaroo, there is no stress, no worry, and not a care in the world. People of all kinds come together each year to celebrate life, love, and music without judgment. Each person's authenticity was something I noticed as soon as I stepped foot into the festival.

You can embrace your true self without apology. Each person is there to lift you up, too.

The atmosphere is much different than anything else I have experienced before. Even when my friends and I felt tired, or if the sun was just too hot to bear, we still did not mind being on our feet for hours on end. We enjoyed being exactly where we were, despite the minor inconveniences we may have faced -- like sitting in 5-hour traffic to get into the campground! I may sound crazy for saying this, but time truly did slow down while we were on The Farm.

My friends and I pulled up to the campground at 6 a.m. on Thursday morning as The Farm buzzed with people. We were too excited to go to sleep, so we spent the morning exploring the place instead. Day or night, everyone was alive with smiles that were contagious. We heard the words "Happy Roo!" from friends and strangers alike.

No matter where you came from, everyone was family at Bonnaroo.

One thing I noticed this past weekend was that everyone was there to help one another. If we needed help with setting up our tent, our neighbors who camped next to us were there to help in seconds. If someone tripped and fell, three people would be there to help the person up. If someone needed a few bucks for water, there was someone in line who was more than willing to cover the cost. I felt so at home there, as if I was a part of this community consisting of all types of people. I felt like I belonged there.

Alongside incredible people and a fulfilling community, there was stellar music as well (of course!). Headliners such as The Lumineers, Post Malone, and Kacey Musgraves rocked The Farm with new and old hits that hyped up the crowds.

Each performer reminded us that Bonnaroo is a safe place and does not discriminate against any person.

Hearing these words so often gave me so much hope for this world and the changes we can make. Bonnaroo is known as a Music and Arts Festival for a reason because it also promotes and sells eco-friendly living and handmade creations all throughout the festival. The activities that are available to attendees set the festival apart from other music festivals.

Bonnaroo connects us all through music, acceptance, and love. I can't wait to go back next summer!

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You Know You're From Trumbull, CT When...

The best memories are made in this boring, little, Connecticut town.


1. The majority of places you will consider to eat at are in Fairfield or Westport... Colony, Shake Shack, Country Cow, Playa Bowls, BarTaco

2. But if you find yourself too lazy to get on 95 for food, Panchero's is the go-to... never Chipotle. If it is past midnight, the choice always comes down to the McDonalds in Monroe, where you are almost guaranteed to see a group of people you know, or Merritt Canteen.

3. Once you got your license, your Friday night plans consisted of picking up friends, driving up and down Main Street, and, somehow, always finding yourself at the THS parking lot seeing who's car is there because there is nothing better to do.

4. In the Fall, you couldn't wait for Friday so that after school you and half of your grade could walk to Plasko's Farm for ice cream and apple cider donuts... and hope you could get them before the owners would yell at you to leave. (This one only applies to Hillcrest Middle School kids, AKA the inferior middle school in town).

5. You couldn't wait to be a senior so you could officially lead the BLACK HOLE at football games... if you were even willing to go in the cold.

6. You looked forward to the annual Senior Scav, the last week of summer before your senior year where a list of tasks is passed down by the recently graduated class... the official kickoff to senior year.

7. You pass by Country Club Rd. and get flashbacks from the worst Cross Country practices ever. Driving up Daniels Farm Rd. in the Fall and Spring, you are conditioned to yell "hi" out the window to your friends at practice.

8. You knew someone who worked at Gene's gas station... and found yourself spending more time there on the weekends than you would like to admit.

9. You are convinced Melon-heads are real after frequenting Velvet St. to see the abandoned insane asylum with your friends, IF you didn't want to drive all the way up to Fairfield Hills in Newtown.

10. You have had/have been to at least one middle school birthday party at the Trumbull Marriott.

11. You know that the 25mph speed limit on Whitney Ave. is way too slow... and can't help but hit a little air going down the huge hill at the top.

12. The guy at Towne likely knows your name.

13. You never find yourself turning right out of THS... that side of town is irrelevant for those who do not live there.

14. You know to avoid the Merrit Parkway from 4:00-7:00pm at all costs.

15. You know more than you would like to about people you aren't even friends with... in a town so small, things get around very quick.

16. Going shopping really means going to Target, or any store in the mall, for the millionth time that week.

17. The marching band was the best in the state and you would see them practicing, literally, every time you drove by THS.

19. Depending on the side of town you lived, you spent a lot of time at Five Pennies Park or Indian Ledge Park.

20. You would say you couldn't wait to leave, but when you got to college, you find yourself excited to come back to your hometown so you can reminisce on old traditions and make new memories.

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