Recently, I had an experience which taught me an important lesson about why being a bystander is never okay. People can assume that as long as they’re not the ones saying or doing anything harmful, that they are in the clear. However, that’s not truly the case at all. Words can really affect others, and you shouldn’t let someone get away with spreading hate and negativity into the world. It might be scary telling your friend that they are going too far, but do you really want to be friends with someone who is always sending out negative vibes? I know what my answer would be. I have been the bully, the witness, and the victim myself, but after this experience, I refuse to sit around and let others continue to get away with being hateful.

It was in Fall 2015 when I first met this girl. I went to a concert alone because my friend had ditched me the day before. I took the train into the city where the concert was taking place, and that’s when I met this girl. We realized we were going to the same concert and that we both happened to be going alone, so we stuck together while traveling back home and she went out of her way to show me where the train station I needed to switch onto was located at. At our departure, she gave me her number and asked that I text her when I got home safe. Once we both texted each other that we had made it home safely, neither of us ever texted the other one again. Many months went by and, eventually, I forgot all about this incident.

Now, fast forward to July 2016. A friend and I decided to go check out a free concert in Boston, so we took the train in together many hours before and sat around people watching while we waited for the show to start. While we were waiting, a girl with newly dyed hair and patterned leggings walked by. I thought nothing of this as dyed hair is very common. However, my friend started to make comments about how her hair and outfit made her seem “unattractive”. I sat there and ignored him while waiting for the show, as I was used to him making negative comments like this often.

A few weeks passed by and I went to yet another concert in Boston. This time, I was with a bubbly and positive friend and we were going to see the band called Boys Like Girls. While the band was playing, I saw the same girl from the free concert which had happened in July. I thought it was interesting that this girl and I would be at two of the same concerts in less than a months time span, so I decided to go up and introduce myself. After a short conversation, we found each other to seem very familiar and we soon realized that she was the girl from the fall concert in 2015 who had made sure I had gotten home safely. We talked for the rest of the show and she ended up giving my friend and I tips on where to wait to get autographs from the band members after the show. Later, while departing, she once again gave me her number to text her whenever I got home safely.

So, what is my point in sharing this experience? I felt drenched in guilt after realizing I had sat around and done nothing about my friend’s negative comments about someone he didn’t even know, especially when I found out that this girl happened to be one of the most caring and sweetest people around. Most of the time when someone makes a negative comment about someone else, they don’t even know the person or have any reason to be making those comments and/or assumptions about them. My friend could have said something negative about anyone, but he just happened to say horrible comments about one of the nicest people out there. The truth is, this world is so full of negativity and hate, and I’m so tired of it. We need more positivity and kindness like the girl from the three concerts had displayed to me. Why spread negativity and hate when you could spread positivity and love? So from now on, I refuse to be a bystander, and I hope you will too because a bystander is no better than a bully.