It has been less than six months since I woke up and my life changed. Less than six months since I found out that my mom passed away suddenly. "Death changes everything, time changes nothing"

When someone so close to you dies abruptly everything about you changes. You can tell people as much as you want to, "treat me the same. I am the same person as I was before." In reality, you know deep down this is not true. And that is okay.

When I went through such a tragic sudden loss I would walk into work, think about my friends and family and myself on a daily basis with anxiety. Death would be on my mind constantly. This would not be something that some of my inner circle could so called handle. I had to learn the hard way that some people would walk out of my life.

They say when it is the toughest part of your life the truest colors of those surrounding comes out. This can be the the greatest gift to see... and the worst. I was beyond appreciative to see some of my friends be at my side at my worst moments these past few months. I would apologize for the late night texts and calls when I was crying. I would apologize for the screaming, paranoia or disappearance. But isn't that a true friendship? Aren't we here for the best and the worst? Because grieving is like fire. It can be hard to control when it will start. If we try by ourselves it will destroy us; but if we have someone there to help- we can manage it.

Don't ever apologize for the way that you are grieving and the way you are growing. Keep the circle who will help maintain the fire. Thank those friends and family, love them and keep them close.