Growing up Indian in a mainly white suburb shaped me in ways that I can hardly begin to describe, an experience me and many other children of immigrants have shared. There is a certain feeling of never being "American" enough because the culture of America revolves around whiteness and white experiences, but there is also a feeling of never being "Indian enough" because the way we assimilate to fit in is seen as pushing away our culture. The latter tends to be true, as a kid and still now, in order to fit in, I would hide or be embarrassed about certain parts of my culture. Going to Bhangra and eating rice and roti for dinner weren't American enough, so I hated doing those things, I ignored so much of my culture. And for so long all I wanted was to be seen as American enough, which roughly translated to being white enough and that by being connected to India, I didn't belong here.

One experience many POC or first/second-generation immigrants have in common is the day someone comments on the food they brought from home, most commonly it was a kid at lunch in elementary school telling them their food smelled or looked weird. Those experiences tend to be one of the first in disowning your culture. And food is a common theme in ways to ostracize children of color. With East Asians, it is "do you eat cats and dogs", which not only sets a negative stereotype in place, but it pushes the idea that all cultures in the world can only consume what Americans do. With that standard, I could judge anyone who eats cows, because in my culture that is incomprehensible. For South Asian's it's "you smell like curry" or simply calling someone curry.

Phrases like this are used to make children of color become ashamed of their culture and heritage, and speaking in my own experiences, I didn't eat the food my mom cooked for years and just didn't eat or scraped together food in order to avoid eating curry. Because I was embarrassed that it was something my family actually ate. And there is nothing wrong with eating curry, it is not just one dish, it is hundreds and can range in so many different ways. Being called curry growing up may have hurt me for a bit, but now it just reminds me that I have a beautiful culture.