I think the highest compliment anyone could be paid would be that of being compared to a dog. I also believe most people have a specific group of friends that could be compared to dogs. I do. So I did.

If your friends were dog breeds, here's what they would be.

Your happy-go-lucky friend is a Golden Retriever.

"Golden Retrievers and Labrador Retrievers are Fun Personified and are almost always depicted as a Friend to All Children. Labs also have a reputation for being dumb and always hungry."

Friend No. 1: Your first impression of this friend was that they were probably dumb but now you know they're just slightly scatter-brained. It was probably their eyes that did it, they're very phlegmatic hence making you think they were a bit slow. Clearly, now you know they’re not. As for the rest, it was, and still is, dead on. They’re that perpetual ray of friggin’ sunshine the stereotypical emo kid (aka YOU) hates because ‘jesus christ who the f*** is that happy all the goddamn time?’ Much like a golden, they also do not seem to care who they hang out with so long as they are nice and that’s a damn good quality because that takes a special kind of heart. Which you most likely do not possess. Who’s a goooood girrrrl?

Your mildly introverted friend is a Chihuahua

"Very small dogs, especially Chihuahuas and Pomeranians, have a reputation for taking on more than they can handle and/or being overly spoiled (similar to the poodle)."

Friend No. 2: I say chihuahua more so because they seem to have a problem with voicing out their thoughts and chihuahuas always look like they're on the verge of exploding from internal distress. You don’t think they're overly spoiled, quite the opposite actually, but you do think they have a tendency to take on more than they can handle. Or maybe the world just gives them more than they can handle and then that problem with voicing their thoughts out comes into play and so they find themselves here, a bug-eyed, quivering chihuahua.

Your shaggy friend is an Old English Sheepdog

"Old English Sheepdogs are lovable goofs who are half blind with their fur covering their eyes."

Friend No. 3: They struck you as helplessly naïve. And I mean the innocent kind, not the vacant kind. “Lovable goof” is quite the perfect phrase to describe them. In fact, as you think about it, this description describes their personality to a 'T' (bone steak yes keep up with the dog puns please). They are also somewhat metaphorically blind to the world. They have a very free-spirited approach to many things and considering how anal you are, it can drive you up the wall. But they’re lovable so you shut up anyways. Besides as you become better friends you won’t hesitate to knock them upside the head. I hope you look forward to it.

Your trusty friend is a Saint Bernard

"Saint Bernards are lovably stoic heroes who will brave the fiercest blizzard to save the day. They will often be shown carrying a flask of alcohol around their necks, even though real Saint Bernards never did this."

Friend No. 4: Ah, this description. A favorite one. There’s something about people who give that is extremely endearing I must say. Especially when it’s innate. This friend is a natural giver. And they’re also terrible at saying no a lot. Which is a bad thing because people can exploit them so you hope they work on that. But you think they’re starting to learn how not to give so much. You've been helping them. In fact I don't particularly feel it right to explain this one because sometimes telling someone something about themselves makes them overly aware. And I think part of this friend's amazing personality and giving nature is because they’re kind of unaware of how far it extends. Which is as lovely as the word itself.

So, that’s pretty much all I have to say really. And remember, my opinion doesn't really mean s*** anyways. But here I present your friends, as dogs.

Metaphorically speaking, of course.