I consider myself a loving, dedicated, supportive parent. My baby is perfect. He has the best personality, and it only gets better as he grows. He is already two years old and I know he is the love of my life. He has the cutest face, and I love to come home to his enthusiastic, loving, kisses.
He eats off the floor, poops outside, and I can leave him home for 8 hours a day. He has four furry legs, and a tail I can only describe as full-bodied and luscious.
My baby's name is Cricket. He is a dog. A Shetland sheepdog to be exact. Cricket, and others of the dog variety, will be the only kiddos I ever need. Between humans and dogs, pups are obviously the superior choice of dependent. For these 5 simple reasons.
1. Dogs will only love you.
It must be physically impossible for pups to experience any other emotion towards their pack-members besides love and affection. Children can feel a much wider range of emotions towards their parents, and this can be stressful and confusing. Furry children can be easily trained to avoid undesirable behaviors with a simple Milkbone. As a bonus, if a pup occasionally performs one of these behaviors, a sturn "bad dog!" will inflict instant guilt that will only be repurposed as a shower of love.
2. Dogs poop outside.
For obvious reasons, this is a major bonus. Your home will only smell of poo at no fault but your own. Never will you experience the smell of someone else's excrement. Your bathroom is used by you, and you alone.
3. Fur-Babies are a much smaller financial investment.
Sans the adoption fee, food, and the hopefully occasional vet bill, pups have little expenses. Dogs don't need shoes, clothes, dozens upon dozens of toys, movies, and books to occupy them. They don't need electronic devices that increase in complexity and price as they age, and they won't go to universities that demand their parent's life-savings in tuition.
4. They are a heck-of-a-lot cuter.
Yes babies are cute, but only a portion of the time. Sometimes they will have food all over their face, or be screaming at the top of their lungs. Those things are just not cute. Dogs are always winning the cute game. No matter their age.
5. Dogs will always be your loyal companion.
Whether you are in the mood for a hike, a stroll through downtown, a jog, or an afternoon of binge-watching trashy Netflix shows, a pup will be willing to accompany you, and support all your decisions. If you choose to watch "Bring It On" on Neftlix, while reciting the cheers and imitating the dance moves, they won't judge you! If you try to frisbee gold and every throw is followed by a treck into the tree line, they are right by your side. Humans will laugh at you, or protest the activity of your choice. Pups provide nothing but support.
