Since I've had a bad history with social anxiety, I recently decided to read an article for Psychology Today titled How Not to Worry About What Others Think About You. In the article, Raj Raguhunathan explains how our social nature leads us humans to desire approval from others.
He then goes on to explain that while it's perfectly natural to be conscious of what other people may be thinking of us, it does a bit of damage if done obsessively. Raj spends the rest of the article giving excellent advice on how to avoid falling into this trap. Having recently finished the Meditations by Roman emperor Marcus Aurelius before reading Raj's article, I began to find some noteworthy similarities in the advice given.
When prescribing other-centeredness, Raj delves into the idea of being a kind and caring for the sake of being kind and caring regardless what others may think. This calls to mind a notable quote from Aurelius: "You have power over your own mind-not outside events. Realize this, and you will find strength." When reading about how hurt people hurt people (not a typo, as pointed out by Raj), I found myself remembering how Marcus Aurelius emphasized understanding the souls of those that despise us so that we may not be anxious of their hatred. And of course, there was the common emphasis on mindfulness and self control.
I'm not quite sure if Raj is a fan of Marcus Aurelius' work. Nonetheless, what this article demonstrated is that the influence of Marcus Aurelius' ideas can be felt even in modern day Psychology. It also demonstrated that even a Roman Emperor like Marcus understood the innate desire humans have for acceptance and just how hard we try to gain it. Furthermore, this experience has helped me grapple with my own feelings of loneliness and anxiety.
I've decided to stop paying so much attention to what others think and to stop judging myself so harshly. Just because someone else thinks badly of us doesn't mean that we can't continue to pursue the virtuous path.I'm quite confident that anybody who reads the Meditations will come to the same conclusions that I have.
