We try to teach our children to respect women, but actions speak louder than words, and our actions say otherwise. Recent cases of innocent women being raped have demonstrated the urgency in which we need to be educating our younger generations on the topic of consent. Incoming freshmen at Florida State University are forced to do an online course outlining consent and alcohol. We live in a world where we need to TEACH what consent means, because we live in a world that lacks common sense. We live in a world where some people think “no” means “convince me”. A world where if she’s too drunk she’s fair game. A world where every answer means “yes” to men; if she’s passed out then it’s her fault for drinking too much and maybe if she wakes up naked with a stranger inside her then she somehow deserves it for not knowing her limits. Women have to walk around with their drinks in their hands so that drugs don’t make their way into our glasses, and men don’t make their way into our bodies. Rape, after rape we are reminded momentarily that women are people and not objects. We feel bad for a second, and then another innocent victim is raped. Every second women are violated, not just with skin to skin contact, but with looks, words pictures, and more. We refuse to be objectified, and are tired of being sexualized.
Only in a sexual context does society, mainly men, want to see our breasts. We are criticized for feeding our children, but praised when we wear V-neck tee’s and push up bra’s. We are taught to keep walking when men call to us from the streets (because it’s not worth their time to get out of their car and approach us like humans.) If they start to follow you, run, but if they catch you, ignore their hateful words and their demeaning glares. When we stick up for our bodies we are prude; when we stick up for our intellectual equality we are bitches.
We live in a world where the victim is lying until proven otherwise; a world where accused rapists can weasel their way through the court system and be free at the cost of another woman's mental stability and idea of security. The man walks free and gets a second chance, while the woman must bear the load of knowing there was no justice in her ruling; there was no mercy. We live in a world where victims of sexual abuse are asked what they were wearing at the time of their attack, as if that matters. My crop top is not an invitation for you to stare at my breasts, and my skirt is not an invitation for you to look up into the parts of me that no one should see without my permission.
A court in Georgia recently ruled that it’s okay to film up my skirt without my permission, but it is not okay. Kate Brumback, a writer with the Times disclosed the details of the “upskirt” case in an online article. She noted that the man, an employee of Publix, filmed an innocent women while grocery shopping. Brandon Lee Gary was charged with invasion of privacy after at least four videos were taken with his phone. He videotaped a women’s private areas without her knowing while she perused the isles for her groceries. Georgia’s invasion of privacy law forbids “the use of any device, without the consent of all persons observed, to observe, photograph, or record the activities of another which occur in any private place and out of public view.” He was found not guilty based on the wording in the law; they ruled that “place” is a physical location and not a region of your body, and that there is no right to privacy in Publix considering it is public grocery store rather than a private site, but there is always a right to privacy and I should always have the rights to my body. The judge, Amanda Mercier, said “As the victim’s genital area was not exposed to the public, it was out of public view and the victim had a reasonable expectation of privacy in the area under her skirt.” So, as long as you don’t rip off my skirt to see what lies beneath it, the law thinks it’s okay. As long as men are violating me with their phone rather than their hands, the law says that’s fine.
BUT IT’S NOT FINE. If women can’t even buy groceries without feeling safe then how are we equal? How can we tell our girls to chase their dreams when they can’t walk down the street, or down an isle without men snapping pictures, calling us names, and glaring up and down our bodies? I am not an object, I will not let you take pictures, call me names, or look at me inappropriately. I will not fall victim to the idea that my body is more important than my mind. I will not let any man or women objectify me, and use me to their liking. My body is not for you, or for anyone other than myself.
