I used to be one of those girls.
Throughout elementary, middle and even some of high school, I always gravitated towards being friends with more guys than girls. I've always had a girl best friend, but I always hung out with more guys on a regular basis for some reason.
Part of the reason was that, up until about the seventh grade, I was a huge tomboy. I wanted to be "one of the guys." After that, I chalked it up to the fact that guys just had less drama than girls did, and they provided a less toxic environment.
This is a typical response, but it's wrong. It may seem true, but there's nothing in the "girl code" that has been made up by society that says we have to be horrible to each other. That's not normal. If that's your experience with girls, you're hanging out with the wrong girls.
In the eighth grade, I was betrayed by my best friend in the whole world. He was a guy. I still remember being pissed off and wanting nothing more than to scream at him for days on end. We're civil to each other now, and I always struggle to think of a justification for why we were acting that way toward each other, other than the fact that we were 14 and 14-year-olds are inherently awful at times.
It was then that I realized that my theory about girls having less drama was wrong. There was nothing about this theory that made any sense, and I'll uphold that to this day.
I've heard so much — from girls and guys alike — that girls are awful to each other and are toxic.
The label of toxicity is so overused today that it's synonymous with anyone who's mean or who you just don't get along with.
News flash: Not everyone is always going to get along with each other. Your gender has nothing to do with it.
There are some girls that I just don't vibe with, so I stay away from them. I don't hate them, but the way I live my life is just not the same as the way they live theirs, and that is perfectly OK.
If you're a girl, you shouldn't feel proud about not hanging out with a lot of girls. If you constantly have problems with building friendships and relationships with other people that are meaningful and genuine, maybe you should start looking at yourself and evaluating whether or not you're the problem.
As a woman and a feminist, I believe that we need to stand up for each other and stick together — and that includes the women we don't like or get along with.
No, I may not agree with everyone's views and lifestyles, but that doesn't give me the right to talk about it and judge them, especially if it doesn't affect me and it isn't harming anyone.
Don't blame toxicity on other people if you just don't get along with them, and don't take pride in not getting along with an entire gender of the human race.
Girls aren't the problem. Stop acting like it.
