Do You Know How Divorce Impacts A Child?
Start writing a post
Entertainment

Do You Know How Divorce Impacts A Child?

Feelings that develop after a divorce revealed.

131
Do You Know How Divorce Impacts A Child?
Fayssal ZAOUI

Parents might ponder the thoughts circulating in their child's head as if they will eventually get a painted picture of the emotions. After such a traumatic experience as divorce, both the kids and parents have to deal with their own feelings and ways of coping, but the parents aren't usually revealed as to how the child regards the negative change. Most kids handle many stages of emotions after their parents get a divorce. Though kids are affected at different levels, they all share one thing in common: divorce has drastically changed their life. If you want to know what a kid might be feeling after their parent's divorce, here is my own personal experience.

It was right before middle school when my parents split. As an eleven-year-old, my whole world became a blur, but then the realization settled in and suddenly emotions came at me like a swarm of bees. At first, I was utterly confused, constantly thinking about what caused the incident to happen. I had questioning thoughts, always asking why and wondering if it was my fault, even though I knew it wasn't. As a kid, the state of innocence always made me see my parents as a pleasant happy couple, so I was in complete bewilderment post separation. The shock made me distant and feel disconnected from the world, and sadly that is a common reaction for most children.

Depending on the child, some emotions will last longer than others. For me, the anger continued a while. Whether it was strewn across my face or not, inside a fire of rage was kindling. Most kids will try to keep the fire at bay, hoping that it will inevitably die out, but instead the flames grow. If the rage burns for too long on the inside, that's when the child starts acting with an outward fire. They might go down a dark path, looking for ways to ease their pain or people to soothe their soul. There is also a high chance that the child will become disrespectful and hateful towards their parents if they hold all the anger in. Luckily for me, I received counseling and prayed about my anger before it got out of hand.

The feelings that have remained the longest with me, and still rarely pass through, are those of sadness and gloom. It is really quite depressing and difficult for a child to undergo all the tough changes. I remember how much I cried and how much my heart used to ache as if I was bound to have an attack from the sorrow. I wondered if I would ever be happy again knowing my family was completely split and that life events would never be the same. I recall moments of where I was so downcast that my thoughts about everything were extremely negative. It would make me upset to go out and see a complete cheerful family when mine felt so broken. There were things that triggered my despair, and I believe that is the case with other kids.

Later in life, my parents divorce still affects me, but in other ways. From talking to other children of divorced families, I know that we all fear relationships. We have the anxious belief that any partnership we're in is destined to end in heartbreak. The apprehension I associate with love also makes it challenging for me to trust anyone. A lot of kids from divorced parents find that as they grow older, trusting people is arduous because they saw a special commitment break between their parents. It is crazy to think that one event could impact a kid, even an adult, but hopefully one will be able to climb up the mountain of emotions.

A few years after my parents' divorce, I tried to look at the positives. It took me a long time to be able to see the good in such a grim predicament, but I eventually discovered some ease. When my parents found new partners, my family grew larger. I now have more amazing people in my life than I did before, and I wouldn't trade them for the world. I have two of everything, two holidays and birthdays, special dinners, and even vacations, so that is always a plus. I've had many cool experiences and lived in different places, which wouldn't have happened without the addition of more people in my life.

The biggest thing that benefited me from my parent's divorce was my relationship with God. Instead of turning away from Him, I trusted in Him to carry me through the dark times. I began to pray and read my Bible more than ever before and went to church as much as possible. I found that though people would let me down, God is the only One who would never disappoint. He has helped me remain strong and persevere through life's obstacles. If I had lost my faith during that time, I would have lost everything.

To sum up coping with divorce, I learned to accept and respect my parents' decision. A few years later I can look back and see that everything happens for a reason; it just takes time to see the purpose. I am who I am today because of how the incident shaped me. As I get older, the past is easier for me to forget about. I think it is important not to spend too much time thinking or wishing to change back to a former life. Yes, divorce is terrible and affects the relative people, but it is possible to get through it.

"And once the storm is over you won't remember how you made it through, how you managed to survive. You won't even be sure, in fact, whether the storm is really over. But one thing is certain. When you come out of the storm, you won't be the same person you walked in." -Haruki Murakami
Report this Content
This article has not been reviewed by Odyssey HQ and solely reflects the ideas and opinions of the creator.
11 Songs That Will Hit You In The Feels, No Doubt About It

One of my favorite things to do when it comes to music is making different playlists on Spotify. I find it so fun to go back to old songs, find new ones, and categorize them into my different playlists. We all have that one playlist that we resort to when we are really feeling some type of way — also known as a "feels" playlist. If you have one of these playlists or feel ~inspired~ to make one, here are 11 songs that are a must to add.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

To My Fellow Girls With Resting B**** Face

A letter to my friends with RBF about understanding your own face and helping others deal with it.

2096
Jupe du Jour

To the girl with resting b**** face:

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriends Of The 2000s

Thank you, J14, for the Posters

4734
J14 magazine

Every girl remembers her first crush. Even if your first crush was the boy in your kindergarten class that ate crayons, your first true love will always be the one that holds the key to your heart. Growing up in the 2000s, everyone knew who your dream guy was. Your family probably still give you grief and your best friends probably still reminisce, so it is impossible to forget your first celebrity crush. You bought a Tiger Beat magazine every chance you could just to read up about what your favorite celebrity was doing. Your room was fully decorated with posters of them, and it wasn't unusual to have fights with your best friends over who was going to marry him. If you were a 90's baby, lucky you because the 2000s were full of boys that were easy to love. I hope you enjoy a walk down memory lane and quickly realize that Bieber was definitely not the first guy with that hair cut. Here are 15 90's baby's first boyfriends.

Keep Reading... Show less
Student Life

20 Things I Learned By The Start of My 20s

No one expects you to have your life together by the time you're 20, because honestly, they didn't either.

14996
Allyson Foutty

We are all often faced with many life challenges throughout the time leading up to our 20s. Before this time, and throughout it, we often look back at the things we've learned and how they've influenced who we are as people today. Some of my biggest influences were some of the challenges I've faced, but they've taught me 20 important things by the start of my 20s.

Keep Reading... Show less
Featured

The Boyfriend Recipe

The ingredients to build a relationship are a little more complicated than just a bouquet of flowers and a box of candy.

12015

Relationships. Long distance or not, significant others are much more than just that. I would be lying if I said I did not love the sweet gestures that only a boyfriend can give. The flowers, funny phone calls, hand holding, breakfast dates, and tight hugs are special but my relationship and many others out there exist on much more than just these little gestures. It is a tricky concoction that consists of one part boyfriend and two parts best friend and would not work without one part or the other. While having a relationship may not be quite as easy as baking a batch of cookies, it has its own recipe (with a few variations for flavor) to follow for a good match.

Keep Reading... Show less

Subscribe to Our Newsletter

Facebook Comments