Olaf was right about one thing: there are a lot of great things to do in summer. One of these is to spend some time by the water. Whether you’re surfing at the beach, sitting by the pool, or doing whatever it is people do at lakes, you have lots of options. Don’t like the water? Don’t worry; there are plenty of other options. Some people like to pretend summer doesn’t exist by going somewhere cold or staying inside all day. Yeah, I don’t get it either. But you know what a great place is that you can spend your day? The amusement park! They’re fun for families, fun for dates, and even fun to go to alone! (Note: I’ve never actually tried this.) The best part is that southern California has a number of awesome amusement parks to choose from, and two big ones: Disneyland and Magic Mountain. Are you having trouble deciding where you want to go? Fear not!
Category One: The Price
Yeah, bye Disneyland. Not only do you have to pay an astronomical amount of money along with your second kidney and your firstborn child to even get a ticket to Disneyland, but once you’re inside they charge you large amounts of money for almost everything. Last time I was there I spent sixty dollars in addition to my ticket, and most of that was just for breathing.
Six Flags, on the other hand, charges a much more affordable price for their ticket. Yeah, souvenirs and food are more expensive than poorly made stuffed animals and unidentified fried objects have the right to be, but the math points to an obvious victor.
Winner: Magic Mountain
Category Two: The Rides
Six Flags has dubbed itself the “Thrill Capital of the World”, and while I’m not sure if I would give it that honor (have you ever been to the Bruin Bear when the huskies are there? Talk about thrills), you just have to look at the number of clingy couples to know how many adrenaline-spiking rides there are. There’s Tatsu for when you want to feel like Superman, Riddler’s Revenge for when you want to sustain crotch injuries, Full Throttle for when you want to have the best time of your life, and Lex Luthor’s Drop of Doom for when you want to cry like a baby. It may not be the best for your blood pressure, but if you’re looking for gravity-defying rides you can’t beat Six Flags. As an added bonus, it’s a great place to take someone you’re crushing on.
Disneyland offers a much different ride climate. While you can hop over to California Adventure and ride Tower of Terror, California Screamin’, or the unexpectedly horrifying swinging Fun Wheel, most rides are much more low-key and wimp-friendly. But what Disneyland lacks in thrills it makes up for in thrilling visuals and nostalgia-inducement. Soaring Over California is beautiful and smells great, Pirates of the Caribbean looks awesome and smells great, Radiator Springs Racers is stunning, and Thunder Mountain is right next to the extremely aromatic barbeque place. While the lines in Fantasyland tend to be ridiculous, there’s no denying the sense of magic on rides like Peter Pan’s Flight and Snow White’s Scary Adventure. While people go to Six Flags (or It’s a Small World) for terror, people come to Disneyland for magic.
Winner: It really depends on what you’re looking for. Let’s call it a tie.
Category Three: The Environment
Recent scientific studies have shown that everyone who enters a Disney park automatically transforms into a seven-year-old. Between the adorable set design, the faithful rides, and extremely in-character cast members wandering around, it’s tough not to feel like you’ve been sucked into one of your old VHS tapes.
Six Flags’ environment is also magical in the sense that it’s invisible. Seriously, what is the “vibe” of Six Flags? The DC Comics and Looney Toons themes are fun, but the set design pales in comparison to Disney’s. You can also get your picture taken with pals like Bugs Bunny and Batman (with the added bonus of Six Flags actually putting on a board with a schedule of who’s showing up when; when you’re at Disneyland I guess you’re supposed to just let Disney Magic ™ guide you to your favorite characters), the meetings are brief and they don’t try to act much like their character. But hey, pictures with Batman.
Winner: Disneyland. Why yes, I do believe in fairies!
Overall, the two parks are so different that it’s impossible to compare the two; it all depends on what you’re looking for. No matter who you are you can have an amazing time at either park.
But really, Disneyland prices, am I right?
