Disinvited

Disinvited

A spoken word.

A spoken word about the pitfalls of parties.

Cover Image Credit: Andrew Bourne

To The Girl Struggling With Her Body Image

It's not about the size of your jeans, but the size of your heart, soul, and spirit.

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To the girl struggling with her body image,

You are more than the number on the scale. You are more than the number on your jeans and dresses. You are way more than the number of pounds you've gained or lost in whatever amount of time.

Weight is defined as the quantity of matter contained by a body or object. Weight does not define your self-worth, ambition or potential.

So many girls strive for validation through the various numbers associated with body image and it's really so sad seeing such beautiful, incredible women become discouraged over a few numbers that don't measure anything of true significance.

Yes, it is important to live a healthy lifestyle. Yes, it is important to take care of yourself. However, taking care of yourself includes your mental health as well. Neglecting either your mental or physical health will inflict problems on the other. It's very easy to get caught up in the idea that you're too heavy or too thin, which results in you possibly mistreating your body in some way.

Your body is your special, beautiful temple. It harbors all of your thoughts, feelings, characteristics, and ideas. Without it, you wouldn't be you. If you so wish to change it in a healthy way, then, by all means, go ahead. With that being said, don't make changes to impress or please someone else. You are the only person who is in charge of your body. No one else has the right to tell you whether or not your body is good enough. If you don't satisfy their standards, then you don't need that sort of negative influence in your life. That sort of manipulation and control is extremely unhealthy in its own regard.

Do not hold back on things you love or want to do because of how you interpret your body. You are enough. You are more than enough. You are more than your exterior. You are your inner being, your spirit. A smile and confidence are the most beautiful things you can wear.

It's not about the size of your jeans. It's about the size of your mind and heart. Embrace your body, observe and adore every curve, bone and stretch mark. Wear what makes you feel happy and comfortable in your own skin. Do your hair and makeup (or don't do either) to your heart's desire. Wear the crop top you've been eyeing up in that store window. Want a bikini body? Put a bikini on your body, simple.

So, as hard as it may seem sometimes, understand that the number on the scale doesn't measure the amount or significance of your contributions to this world. Just because that dress doesn't fit you like you had hoped doesn't mean that you're any less of a person.

Love your body, and your body will love you right back.

Cover Image Credit: Lauren Margliotti

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I'm A Completely Different Person After Freshman Year Compared To Who I Was Before College

I feel around 10 years old because college really puts a real-world perspective on things, where independence is key and no one is there to hold one's hand. It is your life and your life only. And, that just seemed so crazy. High school seemed way too long ago.

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From last year to this year, I came into Rutgers scared of the amount of change that college would bring to my life. From the first couple of weeks, when my roommate and I were trapped on the weekend bus for 2 hours because we didn't understand how it worked, being drenched by torrential pouring during freshman convocation, and missing the football game because we couldn't buy tickets, college didn't seem like it was going to turn out well. And, several times in and out, it proved that it was going to live up to that shitty expectation.

However, I am glad to say (although it took a long time) that I have finally established a really good group of friends, made some awesome memories, and cannot regret how much I did get myself involved in Rutgers through various clubs and activities. This year, I got myself involved with the supply chain club BASE (Business Analytics for Supply Chain Expertise) and found exactly what major I wanted to do. In addition, I got myself involved with the Rutgers Ballroom Dancing club and did something I never thought I would ever do. Still, I suck at ballroom dancing, but there's so much room for improvement that three more years will definitely change.

And, for anyone who is still struggling to find out what major they should do, I really suggest that you join various clubs and activities around campus. Starting off with signing up for EVERYTHING you can at the involvement fair. And, I. MEAN. EVERYTHING. Especially as a business student that didn't know what she was doing at first, it is a great opportunity to just join and go to a couple of meetings. If the club or activity is not for you, you should leave. But, don't knock it till you try it.

My general advice for those of y'all coming in or still living through college is to just go for anything that you want to do. But, keep in mind rejection might be at the doorstep. Life and the real world displayed in college that it is necessary to develop that thicker upper layer. However, know that if you fail here, it's okay, there's so much more places you are going to fail. And, so many more places you will succeed. And, if people in life didn't fail, it just makes success less valuable.

And, also, remember to designate some alone time, which is super important because college is a series of interactions and running around to class, clubs, or work. It can get hectic and even if you aren't talking to people necessarily in each setting, it is SUPPERRR nice just to lay back once in a while and be ABSOLUTELY Alone. It helps recharge and being by yourself is sometimes a luxury if one has a roommate. From worrying about making friends or fitting in, to having a group of great friends that would surprise me on my birthday (a week before finals week), is more than I could have ever asked for.

And, when I look back, I've really aged from start to finish. I feel around 10 years old because college really puts a real-world perspective on things, where independence is key and no one is there to hold one's hand. It is your life and your life only. And, that just seemed so crazy. High school seemed way too long ago. And, although there were some points in time that I wished for freshman year to be over, I appreciated everything that happened this year.

And, although some of my floormates were crazy, I'm really going to miss my weed-smelling dorm and all of its memories. But, what I won't miss is that this semester has also been the first time I failed a test in YEARS. And, I have statistics for business to thank for that.

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