This week was tough for me.
It was my first full week being home, and the fact that a lot of my clothes were fitting just a little too tight finally hit me. I knew that I had gained weight my last month in the city and I knew that some of my shorts were just barely fitting me. I was okay with this because I had just spent the whole summer being a fat a**.
I literally ate out meal after meal. I had so many burgers and milkshakes, not to mention the appetizers that I just had to get as well. I was incredibly irresponsible with what I put into my body all because I wanted the experience, so I ate plenty for every meal.
I assumed that I would go back home and have clothes the next size up that would fit. However, I don't. I have a huge closet, and most of it is filled with clothes that do not fit me. The most difficult part of my day is figuring out what to wear because of this dilemma.
When I put on my clothes I am disgusted with myself. Why? Two months ago almost all of my clothes fit. A year ago I was the same weight that I was back in high school. I see what people see every day and I hate looking at myself in a full-length mirror for that reason alone.
The point of this piece is not for your pity or sympathy. You do not need to shower me with compliments by any means, mainly because I know my strengths and my weaknesses. That is what hurts the most though - I have all these amazing qualities that are overlooked because of the fact that I am overweight. That is the quality that strangers notice first.
Anyway, the point of this article is a wake-up call to me. It is a proclamation that I will do whatever it takes to get back in a better place with my body. I know how incredible it feels to have your pick of the litter when picking out clothes. I know how incredible it feels to look in the mirror and want to take a selfie to show the world.
So the next time you see me, please hold me accountable and ask about my progress. You can even tell me that I might have lost a couple pounds - the best thing in the world to hear! The next time we have lunch together, do not encourage me to get both sides if I ask. And do not even think about giving me a dessert menu! If you want to be a good friend, help give me strength to make better lifestyle choices. Help me make the best choices that I can to be the best possible version of myself.