As an assignment, I was required to take the Clifton Strengths test. Personally, I didn't think much of it - until I sat through the lecture that described each one and put everyone's strengths into perspective. There are 34 possible strengths to have, and the test tells you your top 5. Therefore, with 5 strengths per person (all in different orders) and 34 possible strengths available, I realized that there's a very low chance that someone has the exact same strengths as me in the exact same order. Wild, right?
My strengths, in order, are Adaptability (going with the flow), Empathy (sensing the feelings of others), Woo (enjoying winning people over), Communication (good at putting thoughts into words), and Connectedness (believing that everything happens for a reason).
Looking at these as the results of the test made a lot of sense. Our speaker mentioned that it's simply how we are wired, and most of these strengths are simply the way we think or approach certain situations.
We did then an activity where people in the class shared their different strengths- and sometimes they would be the opposite of mine. One girl was very future-oriented, where she is always thinking about the impact of the future with her current decisions. Personally, I work on taking one day at a time and life as it comes to me.
After hearing her talk, it hit me that each individual definitely had a different list than me, and that's okay. I also remembered that not everyone has the same approach to life as I do, and that's okay. Sometimes we become so wrapped up in our own mess that we forget that other people think entirely different than us and thrive in totally different situations.
For example, I was a terrible waitress. I mean, absolutely awful at it. If you look at my strengths, none of the skills required to be a waitress are on there. I'm such a "go with the flow" person, that I'd forget to check on people because I'd assume that they're fine and don't need me, because I usually don't bother my waiter or waitress when I'm dining out. Did I survive as a waitress? Sure. It helped pay for school. However, I was definitely not in my element... at all.
This strengths test definitely applies to relationships as well. Personally, I like to go visit a town and have no plan at all (because of my adaptability) and get frustrated with any type of hard schedule. That's why when I plan vacations I give myself entire days to mess around and be a tourist or come up with "plans" on the spot.
In a romantic relationship, because of empathy, I try to figure out what the other person is feeling and see if I can possibly make it better, or see if they need to talk it out. If they raise their voice at me, I shut down. Nothing gets accomplished when everyone is yelling, you see? My connectedness helps me to realize that there is a bigger picture, even if I'm not focusing on it. And truly, my communication strength might be the only reason I'm able to write a new article every single week.
I think it's super important to know your strengths, but recognize other people's strengths and how they function. Part of life is realizing that not everyone is wired the same way as you and that different people respond differently in different situations. This strengths test has helped me to realize that focusing on my strengths is a lot more beneficial than focusing on my weaknesses.
I know that from my Myers Briggs test that I have a good amount of weaknesses as an ENFJ. However, this presentation helped me to develop my natural abilities and realize that I am able to do things that I may not be wired to do (as can everyone), but It will not feel like I am thriving in my environment.
Basically, we can do anything if we try hard enough, but why bother striving to be good at what we internally are not?
