Here, I sit in my living room watching "Parks and Recreation" and stuffing my face with Chinese food and Starburst jelly beans. I definitely did not go to the gym today. I definitely did not go to the gym yesterday. I find myself torn between feelings of pure satisfaction from relaxing and eating tasty food and feelings of guilt from breaking the promises I made for myself the day before. “Give yourself a break,” I tell myself. “You’ll work out tomorrow!” That’s what I said yesterday. I know I need to treat my body well, but I also know I need to treat myself. I find myself in a battle of wants and needs – discipline versus desire. So, how do we find this balance? I think this is something every college student comes to terms with in this time of unfamiliar independence.
From the minute we are born, all we know are our own wants. Let’s say we see a toy in the store we just need to have. If we don’t get it, we cry. Our only discipline growing up comes from our parents or those in charge. We all remember playing in preschool when little Johnny comes up to us and asks, “Can I play with your Legos?” “Tyler, do you want to share your Legos with Johnny?” Ms. Lamb asks. Heck no! Tell Johnny to get his own Legos! Our teacher then explains that we must share and be kind to our peers. This is when we begin to learn that sometimes our desires conflict with the wants of others. So, we learn to compromise. We learn consideration. We share the Legos.
It makes sense that when we leave home for the first time, we have to learn how to discipline ourselves. Our parents aren’t here anymore to make us do our homework or eat broccoli. I have actually found that setting standards for myself has drastically improved the quality of my life. For me, it starts every day with simply waking up to my alarm without pressing snooze up until the last possible minute. Even though I’m not always successful, following through with my own personal expectations feels good. When I do what I know is good for me, I feel like I am taking care of myself. When am taking care of myself, I begin to truly love myself.
On the other hand, how can I keep from being flooded with guilt when I just really want to go home and take a nap instead of go for a run? This is what I can say about that: Life is a balancing act. It is important to discipline yourself, so you can become the best “you” you can be. When we set goals for ourselves, we realize we are truly limitless if we push past our doubts and reservations. There will also be times when we want something that isn’t the best, whether it’s a friend or partner who can be toxic, a habit that is bad for your health or anything that keeps you from being your best self. We must acknowledge our natural impulses while continuing to treat ourselves well. These situations come up in day-to-day life, and we will only get better at making the right choice when the moment comes.
In the battle between discipline and desire, I think the trick is to desire discipline. And in the moments where your wants conflict with your needs, just do your best. Give yourself a break (but always share the Legos).
