As the big season for Greek life recruitment begins, I've taken a look back at how my greek life experience was, and how I disaffiliated. That's right, I disaffiliated from my sorority.
To start, my disaffiliation was not because of the sorority, or the sisters. It was a personal decision that greek like wasn't for me. Before I get into that, let's jump back to where it all began.
It was spring recruitment season my freshman year, and one of my friend's and I decided to go to a "Meet the Greeks" event. It was actually a fun event, and it was really fun to meet all the different types of people and the different types of sororities/fraternities.
From there, my friend and I went to the rest of the recruitment events and ultimately found ourselves receiving bids from different sororities. It was a day full of excitement and feeling so much love from people who turned from strangers to sisters really quick.
After bid day, the semester of being a new sister continued. I learned all things about my sorority, from the history to gaining a Big and learning about my family line. It was fun getting to know all these new people and building new relationships. I was initiated into the sorority after a semester of going through a new member process, and I felt the love and passion of all these girls. They reminded me so much of me, and the friends I've even had since high school.
Near the end of the summer, and the beginning of the fall semester is when everything changed. After a lot of thinking, stress, and personal reflection, I determined that being in a sorority wasn't for me. It was such a great group of girls, with a tremendous support system, and a lot of opportunities. On the other hand, it was still holding me back. Although I still did well in my academic, I felt like I wasn't giving my all towards my education.
Amidst the sorority, I forgot that the main purpose I came to college was to actually learn and retain information about my career. The girls in my sorority were all geniuses, and I knew they'd encourage me, but I didn't want to put myself through so much stress. I'm a person who tends to feel too much. I feel bad when I'm putting more attention into one thing than another. I knew no matter what I focused on (school or the sorority), I wouldn't be able to balance both, and I'd end up feeling bad either way.
I was told that things would be different now that I'd be a member, and I'm sure some things would be different. However, the time commitments of the sorority and the rigorous demand of my classes would still be present no matter what.
There were numerous other personal reasons I decided to disaffiliate, but when it came down to making my decision I knew that the people who loved me stood beside me no matter what. When I first disaffiliated, I did it all wrong. I didn't tell my sisters, and I hurt some of them, and I truly am sorry for that, but I made the decision personally and privately. Although I loved my sisters, I didn't want every single person's opinions in on my decision; it would have stressed me out.
At first, it was hard not seeing them and feeling their hurt and confusion. I even considered petitioning for reinstatement, but with time, I have learned to let it go and move on with my life. I still remember all the memories I made, and I will always be there for any of my ex-sisters. By going through that process I have learned to appreciate Greek life, and I know the impact it makes. I saw how Greek life isn't for everyone, and that is OK.
I've also learned that sometimes you have to put yourself first. There have been times I have struggled mentally in college, but without the sorority, I know my stress levels were more manageable than they would have been. I am still the best of friends with my ex-Big, and I was able to build upon those relationships that I pushed aside when I joined a sorority.
Joining and then disaffiliating a sorority was quite a process. My advice to those who are interested is to truly take the time to reflect on yourself, and what you want to do. Greek life is a big commitment, and it can be easy to get swept up in the excitement. Just take your time and make sure it is something you truly want to do. It showed me more about who I am as a person, and what I want out of my college career and life in general.
I went into Greek life not fulling understanding it nor about myself. It's frowned upon to disaffiliate, and I know I was probably looked down on for doing so, but at the end of the day, you have to do what's best for yourself. That is why joining and disaffiliating a sorority was the best decision I have made for myself.
